


TXT is a happy mess

by MooseWingsBaby1



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, How Do I Tag, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Bangtan Boys | BTS Member(s), No Angst, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Choi Soobin, Supportive Bangtan Boys | BTS, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 20,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24614455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooseWingsBaby1/pseuds/MooseWingsBaby1
Summary: Prompt: Random texts between TXT (written at 3am bear with me)or, an insight on TXT behind the doorsEDIT: IM BACK AS OF SEPTEMBER 29 2020Will be actively updating again!!**it's a fun read please give it a chanceI will update every chance I get.(written for fun, no events are real, only inspired from some true events)
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 39
Kudos: 157





	1. Bang Pdnim is a victim here

**Author's Note:**

> groupchat users  
> Babiekai = hueningkai  
> houdyuni = taehyun  
> gyungi = beomgyu  
> breadhater = soobin (yes i am salty about the break up :(..)  
> Blujun = yeonjun (blue haired jun will forever be in my heart)

~ Monday morning ~

*groupchat: eboys and soobin uwu*

10: 15 am Babiekai: hyuunngggs

10: 15 am Blujun: yes?

10:15 am Breadhater: yes?  
10:16 am Breadhater: wait who changed my name.  
10:16 am Breadhater: i don’t hate bread :(

10:16 am Babiekai: wasn’t me  
10:16 am Babiekai: btw where are you guys? I am a l o n e and h u n g r y

10:17 am Blujun: buying a new couch  
10:17 am Blujun: ?????  
10:17 am Blujun: we left you in Tae and Gyu’s care???

10:17 am Breadhater: !!!!  
10:17 am Breadhater: @houdyuni @gyungi HELLLOO????  
10:18 am Breadhater: FIRST YOU TWO BREAK OUR COUCH AND NOW????  
10:18 am Breadhater: Y’ALL LEFT MY SON ALONE??????  
10:18 am Breadhater: YEONJUN’S GONNA KICK BOTH OF YOU ISTG

10:18 am Blujun: I’ll kick beomgyu, but i could never hurt hyunnie

10:18 am Babiekai: that’s nice of you hyung but im still alone and hungry

10:18 am gyungi: first of all, rude :(  
10:19 am gyungi: second of all, we went to get food for kai, tried to get back before he woke up but getting the food proved harder than we thought it’d be.  
10:19 am gyungi: Hyun’s got his hands full but he wants Jun to know he’s his favourite hyung

10:19 am Babiekai: was the store crowded????

10:19 am Blujun: awww thats sweet, but my favourite is kai

10:19 am gyungi: it really do be like that :( -- Taehyun

-Breadhater changed his name to longleg-  
10:20 am longleg: so what did you guys buy

10:20 am gyungi: going inside the dorm now kai <3

10:20 am houdyuni: with my big brain we got a lot of food without needing to pay for it

10:25 am Blujun: …. I just got off the phone with Bang pdnim

10:25 am longleg: lmao can’t believe you guys raided Bang PDs fridge

10:26 am houdyuni: he adopted us, he has to feed his children

10:27 am Babiekai: you guys didn’t bring ketchup :(  
10:27 am Babiekai: fries without ketchup = sad kai

10:28 am Blujun: you guys have 5 minutes while I stall Bang pdnim

10:28 am gyungi: ;)))


	2. kai is a angry penguin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two at once because i am excited for my first fic

~ Tuesday afternoon~

*groupchat: eboys and soobin uwu*

4:05 pm Babiekai: has anyone seen taehyun?  
4:05 pm Babiekai: he’s in need of a little ass-kicking

-longleg changed his name to soobin-

4:08 pm soobin: we don’t use that type of language in this household, young man >:(

4:08 pm Blujun: you screamed fuvk yesterday but go off i guess

4:08 pm gyungi: p a r d o n???????

4:08 pm Babiekai: i am a child please keep this chat pg-13

4:09 pm soobin: i am a child of god, i did no such thing  
4:09 pm soobin: and if i did it’s because the four of you are gremlins who run into me 24/7  
-soobin changed houdyuni’s name to paboyuni-  
-paboyuni changed his name to sadhyun-

4:11 pm sadhyun: wha  
4:11 pm sadhyun: what’d i do???  
4:11 pm sadhyun: oh wait..

4:11 pm soobin: kick his ass kai

4:12 pm Babiekai: hypocrite

4:12 pm Blujun: hypocrite

4;12 pm soobin: ma’am this is cyberbullying

4:12 pm gyungi: so can we go back to the part where kai kicks taehyun’s ass and i record everything?

4:12 pm sadhyun: gyu what did i do to you  
4:12 pm sadhyun: -if this is for the tomato incident i already apologized 

4:13 pm Babiekai: this is for the throwing all my plushies outside incident that you have not apologized for

4:13 pm sadhyun: that wasn’t me  
4:13 pm sadhyun: it was beomgyu

4:14 pm gyungi: oh i see  
4:14 pm gyungi: stab each other on the back day already??  
4:14 pm gyungi: in that case, hyun gave me 4 bowls of instant ramen so i would do that

4:15 pm Blujun: op lmao 

4:15 pm soobin: usually i wouldn’t say this but

4:15 pm Blujun: then don’t

4:16 pm gyungi: wait are you guys getting a divorce :(

4:16 pm gyungi: can i stay with yeonjun hyung then

4:16 pm soobin: hyung you’ve been roasting me all day, did i do something wrong

4:18 pm Blujun: anyways   
4:18 pm Blujun: kai and tae have been awfully quiet

4:18 pm soobin: :(

4:18 pm sadhyun: KAIS CHASINF ME I CSAN ONLY RUN SO FWSR BEFRORW HIS LONG LEGS REACH ME

4:19 pm gyungi: TURN ON YOUR LOCATION GYU HYUNG IS COMING <3  
4:20 pm gyungi: thank you hynnie, i’ll make sure to record from a safe distance 

4:21 pm sadhyun: BEOMNGY U ASSHATFNFL HFELP ME

-Blujun has changed his name to Yelojun-

5:00 pm Yelojun: a yellow jun is a happy jun

5:00 pm soobin: a happy jun is apparently a bald one 

5:01 pm Yelojun: we just made up, you really wanna pull this crap now?

5:01 pm soobin: uwu i luv uuu

5:02 pm sadhyun: well i lived thanks for asking

5:02 pm Yelojun: op stay pressed

5:02 pm gyungi: great now give my back my ramen you snake

-sadhyun changed his name to aengdu-

5:02 pm aengdu: hiss hiss jerk  
5:02 pm aengdu: snitches don't get ramen

5:03 pm Babiekai: you snitched first fyi  
5:03 pm Babiekai: so now that kai is happy again, kai demands movie night because we need more bonding time as a group <3

5:03 pm gyungi: that heart is vibe checking me and i do not appreciate it  
5:03 pm gyungi: should i bring snacks?

5:04 pm soobin: yes please, bring ice-cream and i'll marry you

5:04 pm Yelojun: beomgyu do not bring ice-cream if you value your legs

5:04 pm aengdu: what was it that you said? Oh right  
5:04 pm aengdu: op stay pressed <3

5:05 pm soobin: hm? Whats wrong with ice-cream

-gyungi changed his name to yikes-

5:05 pm yikes: sorry soobinnie hyungie :( but i don’t have enough money for ice-cream :(((

5:06 pm aengdu: beomgyu thighs live to see another day, we love to see it~~

5:06 pm soobin: it's fine beomie, i’ll get ice-cream another day :(((

5:06 pm Babiekai: @Yelojun FIX THIS YOU OOMPA LOOMPA

5:06 pm Yelojun: YOU'RE ONLY AN INCH TALLER YOU BRAT  
5:06 pm Yelojun: @soobin i’ll go buy you ice-cream <3

5:07 pm yikes: wow  
5:07 pm yikes: imagine having a split personality, couldn’t be me

5:07 pm soobin: are you sure hyung, i thought you didn’t want ice-cream for a snack

5:07 pm Babiekai: i wanted ice-cream a lot too, so hyungie changed his mind, right jun hyungie 03<

5:07 pm Yelojun: yeah yup mhm  
\---  
5:20 pm Yelojun: i bought it already, omw back

5:20 pm Babiekai: thank you mom

5:20 pm aengdu: thank you mom

5:20 pm yikes: thank you mom

5:20 pm soobin: best hyung <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading loves <3  
> there will certainly be more uwu
> 
> feedback and kudos is greatly appreciated


	3. Taegyu is cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> light angst? except not really  
> this is a crack au don't worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this household we love clean taegyu  
> they're together but unofficially btw
> 
> im sorry if the format is weird, i haven't done this before

~Wednesday early morning~

*private chat- gyu,hyun*

3:02 am hyun: beomgyu?  
3:02 am hyun: are you awake?

3:02 am gyu: no, goodnight <3  
3:02 am gyu: kidding, what’s up little man

3:03 am hyun: i will cut you  
3:03 am hyun: can we go to the cat cafe later today? Just us

3:03 am gyu: uwu what’s this? An affectionate taehyun up in my dms?  
3:03 am gyu: but yes babe <33 now go to sleep and dream of the handsomest man on earth

3:04 am hyun: are you sure you’re okay with me dreaming about jungkook hyung

3:04 am gyu: WTAH  
3:04 am gyu: -sad gyu entering chat-

3:04 am hyun: L-word you <3

3:04 am gyu: was gonna invite you over for cuddles but now

3:04 am hyun: you’re still gonna bec you’re whipped for me

3:05 am gyu: valid. come here

3:05 am hyun: omw <333

~Wednesday afternoon~

3:30 pm~ *eboys and soobin uwu*

-Babiekai changed his name to chef kai-

3:30 pm chef kai: yeonjunnie hyung~~~~ soobin hyung~~~~  
3:30 pm chef kai: I wanted to do something for my bestest hyungies  
3:30 pm chef kai: so I hope your hungry because I’m cooking food for you guys <3

3:31 pm Yelojun: aww my cutie, what are you making for us?

3:31 pm soobin: that’s sweet kai, but are you alone while cooking..?

3:31 pm chef kai: well yes, i don’t know where gyu and hyun are, but don’t you trust me hyung? I can do this I promise!

3:31 pm Yelojun: okay do your best kai, at what time should I be home for dinner?

3:31 pm chef kai: Come in one hour!

3:32 pm soobin: kai, please have 911 on speed dial

\------------

*private chat- gyu,hyun*

3:30 pm gyu: hyunie? Where’d you go?  
3:32 pm gyu: hyun, babie? Hello? You’re not in the bathroom??  
3:40 pm gyu: Taehyun. Why aren’t my calls going through? This isn’t funny, where are you!?

\-------------

*eboys and soobin uwu*

-yikes has changed his name to scaredgyu-

3:51 pm scaredgyu: you guys, please call Taehyun. I can’t find him anywhere.  
3:51 pm scaredgyu: its been 20 minutes, i don’t know where he is

3:51 pm chef kai: what? Where were you guys? I’ll call now  
3:52 pm soobin: beomgyu, he’s not answering me either. Where did you last see him

3:52 pm scaredgyu: we were at a cat cafe, I went to get treats at the counter, came back to our spot and he was gone along with his things.  
3:52 pm scaredgyu: checked the bathroom, circled the block, asked if someone had seen him. It’s like he was never there. The staff said they never saw him either.

3:53 pm chef kai: beomgyu please find my best friend, i can’t believe you lost him :(

3:53 pm Yelojun: kai, focus on your food. Hyung will find Taehyun. Beomgyu, go back to the cafe and wait for him there. Soobin and I will look around.

\-------------

4:00 pm scaredgyu: anything??

4:01 pm Yelojun: not yet

\-------------

4:15 pm chef kai: I bring updates.  
4:15 pm chef kai: my food is ready and smells delicious  
4:15 pm chef kai: hyun just arrived  
4:15 pm chef kai: wow i can’t believe i didn’t burn down the kitchen. YAY ME :D

4:16 pm scaredgyu: TAEHYUN IS HOME????

4:16 pm Yelojun: why isn’t he texting in the gc???

4:16 pm chef kai: is no one gonna mention my food

4:16 pm soobin: im sure your food is lovely kai, but where is taehyun

4:16 pm aengdu: taehyun is right here. And im okay guys dont worry

4:17 pm scaredgyu: dINT WORRY?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONT WORRY  
4:17 pm scaredgyu: YOU DISAPPEARED FOR ALMOST AN HOUR WITHOUT SAYING ANYHTING

4:17 pm Yelojun: yeah not cool hyun :(, where were you

4:17 pm aengdu: im sorry guys, a cat got out of the cafe, so i went and brought it back inside  
4:17 pm aengdu: but I ended up getting recognized, I ran so gyu wouldn’t be noticed too. I got lost for a few minutes, decided to wait for the coast to be clear. And then I walked home.  
4:17 pm aengdu: my phone died, so i couldn’t text gyu, nor open maps to find the cafe, so i just walked home for like 20 minutes

4:18 pm soobin: glad you’re okay, jun and I are coming home

4:18 pm chef kai: food will be on the table waiting for you guys >3<

\---------

*private chat- gyu,hyun*

4:19 pm gyu: I was completely freaked, and sort of angry  
4:19 pm gyu: but i am really glad you’re home safe. Ill be there shortly

4:19 pm hyun: how cute, you were worried <3  
4:19 pm hyun: you can have my chips when you get here

4:20 pm gyu: are you trying to bribe me with chips so I don’t kick your ass

4:20 pm hyun: we both know you can’t  
4:20 pm hyun: i wanted to be nice and give you them, but since you implied my intentions are foul I’ll eat them myself

4:20 pm gyu: no wait  
4:20 pm gyu: i was kidding  
4:20 pm gyu: hyun?

\--------------------------------

*eboys and soobin uwu*  
-chef kai changed chat name to rats, beomie, andkai-

7:08 pm soobin: pardon????????/

7:08 pm Yelojun: kai what, excuse my french, le fuc?

7:08 pm aengdu: hyung that’s not how you spell it  
7:08 pm aengdu: but yeah kai what gives

-scared gyu changed his name to prince gyu-

7:09 pm prince gyu: wuv you kai <333  
7:09 pm Yelojun: why is he not a rat but i am :(

7:09 pm chef kai: the fact that you have to ask breaks my heart hyung

7:10 pm soobin: yeah jun don’t ask stupid questions, it’s obvious you’re a rat  
7:10 pm soobin: the real question, why am I, an angel, being called a rat

7:10 pm chef kai: only gyu complimented my food, the rest of you ate and left :(  
7:10 pm chef kai: none of you cleaned up, gyu was the only one who did and he did the dishes afterwards

7:11 pm aengdu: beomgyu??? did the dishes??? what fake au is this

7:11 pm prince gyu: hey-

7:11 pm Yelojun: oh, sorry about that kai, your cooking is great bub

7:11 pm soobin: kai :(((((((( hyung is very sorry  
7:11 pm soobin: you can have my ice cream <3

7:12 pm aengdu: come to the living room, kai, i’ll let you win in mario kart

-chef kai changed changed chat name to Sin free chat uwu-  
-chef kai changed his name to father kai-

7:12 pm father kai: i forgive thy sins, my children  
7:12 pm father kai: come to me, my sons, father will beat you all in mario kart now <3

7:12 pm soobin: god i wish i were jared,19

7:13 pm Yelojun: all of a sudden I can’t see

7:13 pm aengdu: …..i cant believe i escaped a kidnapping only to come home to this

7:13 pm prince gyu: im on my way father, please beat me

7:13 pm soobin: do you ever think before you text  
7:13 pm soobin: i did not raise either of you like this  
7:14 pm soobin: i am Disgusted™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kai must be protected at all costs  
> beomgyu is a prince.  
> taehyun is lovely.  
> yeonbin are unintentional parents.  
> soobin is my biggest mood.
> 
> my lovely moas, thank you for reading <3  
> kudos and feedback is much appreciated >3<


	4. soobin is a clueless babie someone help him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> toothpaste issues  
> clueless issues   
> somebody go get blue
> 
> light angst but not really  
> trust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant blue from blue's clues btw, i know i know i'm not funny  
> but anyway   
> i felt this chapter was a little short? I hope you still like it tho  
> there's a fun little cameo in this chapter near the end <3
> 
> tell me what you think uwu

~Thursday morning~

*soobin changed chat name to Someone is gonna RIP*  
8:04 am soobin: which one of you nasty jerks left the toothpaste uncapped and on the floor  
8:04 am soobin: i stepped on it and slipped   
8:04 am soobin: whoever did this is gonna get an asswhooping

8:05 am Yelojun: good morning to you too binnie

8:05 am prince gyu: well if you ask like that no one is gonna come forward.

-aengdu changed his name to hyunie-  
8:05 am hyunie: that seems awfully suspicious beomgyu

8:06 am prince gyu: wht tae :(  
8:06 am prince gyu: kai hasn’t said anything, that’s even more suspicious

8:06 am Yelojun: are you really trying to frame my son

8:06 am soobin: no wait, he’s got a point  
8:06 am soobin: @father kai i hate your user i hated typing it i hate it so much, but what is your defense

-father kai changed his name to innocent kai-  
8:07 am innocent kai: hyung, your lack of faith in me wounds me deeply  
8:07 am innocent kai: it wasn’t me, i was the first to brush my teeth

8:07 am Yelojun: soobin you were talking to me while i brushed my teeth, you saw me put it away properly

8:07 am hyunie: soobin you weirdo, how can you even have a conversation with someone who has a mouthful of toothpaste

8:08 am soobin: fine, junnie and kai check out  
8:08 am soobin: but you haven’t made your appeal hyun 

8:08 am prince gyu: “made your appeal” what are you a judge 

8:08 am hyunie: beomgyu and i brushed our teeth right after kai, so jun used the toothpaste afterwards  
8:08 am hyunie: but you said he’s innocent, so that only leaves one person

8:09 am soobin: are you trying to imply it was me?  
8:09 am soobin: how could it have been me, yeonjun hyung tell themmm

8:09 am Yelojun: well.. thinking about it i didn’t see you brush your teeth-

8:09 am soobin: hyung how could you do this to me

8:10 am innocent kai: op soobin hyung shame on you, it’s not nice to blame others for your mistakes

8:10 am prince gyu: oh wow haha you must be feeling so embarrassed right now huh soobin

8:10 am soobin: yes thank you for your USELESS input beomgyu  
8:10 am soobin: and thats hyung to you, brat

8:10 am innocent kai: hmmmm is he a brat? I think he’s just being truthful 

-innocent kai changed soobin’s name to soobinniepabo-

8:11 am soobinniepabo: i need a nap

8:11 am hyunie: you can take one after practice

\------------------------------------------

~Thursday afternoon~

3:40 pm prince gyu: BTS hyungs are inviting us out to eat in about 1 hour  
3:40 pm prince gyu: and i know we just ate, but i already said yes

3:40 pm hyunie: christ beomgyu

3:40 pm Yelojun: oh good i was getting hungry again

3:40 pm soobinniepabo: gyu, i luv you  
3:40 pm soobinniepabo: im gonna get to see Kim Seokjin loml

3:41 pm Yelojun: ᵒʰ 

3:41 pm prince gyu: ouch, don’t worry hyung, your bestie is on his way with cuddles <3

3:41 pm innocent kai: i want in on those cuddles!!!!!!!!!!!

3:41 pm hyunie: wow i guess soobinniepabo still fits like a shoe

3:42 pm soobinniepabo: hmmm? what’d i do now? 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

**groupchat BTS and babies**

6:32 pm Soobin: thank you so much for the food hyungs!

6:32 pm Beomgyu: Yes it was delicious!!

6:32 pm Namjoon: Of course babies, we enjoyed your company

6:32 pm Hoseok: BABIESSS   
6:33 pm Hoseok: hyungie was happy to see you all doing well

6:33 pm Kai: aahhhhh hyung, we were happy too 👉👈

6:33 pm little Tae: Next time, we'll pay for dinner! 

6:33 pm Koo: 👀👀👀? oh ho ho?

6:34 pm Big Tae: what kookie means is that, the thought is nice but as your hyungs we cannot accept   
6:34 pm Big Tae: we also empty out buffets with our appetite so- 

6:35 pm Jin: you can cook for us 

6:35 pm Yoongi: with our help and supervision of course 

6:35 pm Jiminie: they aren't gonna hurt themselves hyung, they're big tall boys 

6:35 pm Yoongi: tall hm? you wanna be a big tall boy too don't you Jimin 

6:35 pm Jiminie: are you calling me short 

6:36 pm Namjoon: Ahaha Jimin so funny. Thank you for joining us guys, we had fun, but we must leave now and work. 

6:36 pm Jiminie: dont interrupt hyung, go on yoongi what were you saying huh? 

-chat admin has kicked Yoongi and Jiminie from the chat-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a harder time adapting to a kai mindset so I'm sorry he wasn't here too much, I'm gonna go on a kai binge-watch to get a better feel of him.  
> I know his usual' self, but he's more than plushies and dolphin screams, don't worry i'll get better at interpreting him.  
> feedback and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> so i have readers!! I can't tell you how giddy i feel   
> thank you so much for reading, it means a lot. <3  
> I didn't know this type of happiness was so strong, thank you again loves <333


	5. titanic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> realizations and fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter

~Friday morning~

*Someone is gonna RIP*

-innocent kai changed chat name to Hyuka and non-hyukas-  
-innocent kai changed his name to hyuka-

5:34 am hyuka: it all started when one dumb bvtch met an even dumber bvtch and became best friends

5:34 am hyunie: it’s not nice to call beomgyu and yeonjun hyung dumb  
5:34 am hyunie: and why are you awake

5:34 am hyuka: i have not slept  
5:34 am hyuka: sleep and i broke up

*Yelojun changed his name to tired mom*  
5:35 am tired mom: taehyun, kai go to sleep, today is my sleep in day  
5:35 am tired mom: wait  
5:35 am tired mom: taehyun are you saying it’s okay to call beomgyu and i bvtches but not dumb??????

5:35 am hyunie: there’s no need to question facts hyung <3 sleep well

5:36 am prince gyu: if you're gonna call me a bvtch make sure to add 'Kim Taehyung's' in front of it

5:36 am hyunie: sleep with one eye open hyung <3

5:36 am hyuka: what if we jumped into a portal and got stranded in an island, then set the island on fire

-soobinniepabo changed his name to concerned-  
5:36 am concerned: what if you went to sleep and not plan our demise thanks

\-----------------------------

*private chat- gyu,hyun*

10:12 am hyun: if i were a king you’d be my prince

10:12 am gyu: never refer to me as your son again thanks

10:12 am hyun: that’s not what i meant-  
10:12 am hyun: i’m just trying to say i am no longer mad at you

10:13 am gyu: i’d be surprised if you still were, I brought you pizza this morning

10:13 am hyun: i can never say anything nice to you without you just accepting it huh

10:13 am gyu: i am high maintenance  
10:13 am gyu: write me a letter

\-------------  
~Friday afternoon~

*private chat- gyu,hyun*

2:35 pm hyun: Beomgyu hyung, you little shvt. you anger me so much. your logic sucks. And so does your handwriting. .. And yet I feel so endeared by your presence. you suck. you're very bright, it's annoying.  
so so annoying that I feel I must hold your hand every second to feel calm.  
If I have not made it clear yet.  
you are one of earth's greatest mysteries.  
and I want to be the one to understand you first.  
so  
do you accept?

2:35 pm gyu: you really wrote me a letter  
2:37 pm gyu: catch me crying outside bang pds office  
2:37 pm gyu: i accept <3

\-----------------------

*hyuka and non-hyukas*

4:18 pm hyuka: kai has had a nap and time to reflect  
4:18 pm hyuka: and in conclusion, you have all traumatized me  
4:18 pm hyuka: i was a naive child, how could you do this to me

4:19 pm hyunie: you traumatized yourself, no one told you to watch horror movies before bed

-concerned has changed his name to Soobin-  
4:19 pm Soobin: he really tried to blame us for that

-tired mom has changed his name to yeondone-  
4:19 pm yeondone: kai honey  
4:19 pm yeondone: just say you want to share a bed with one of us and go

4:20 pm prince gyu: I volunteer

4:20 pm hyuka: beomgyu hyung best hyung.

4:20 pm prince gyu: but you can’t bring your plushies

4:20 pm hyuka: …..  
4:20 pm hyuka: can someone else volunteer

4:21 pm yeondone: lmao  
4:21 pm yeondone: come to my room kai, we’ll have a movie marathon and you can sleep here

4:21 pm hyunie: mama yeon coming through once again  
4:21 pm hyunie: can i come

4:21 pm Soobin: nothing is cuter than witnessing a moment between jun and his ducklings

4:21 pm prince gyu: and yet you do nothing

4:22 pm Soobin: everyday i wake up with hope, and everyday i am slandered to no end

4:22 pm yeondone: stop being so dramatic and join us binnie

4:22 pm prince gyu: do i get an invite to this

4:22 pm hyuka: you can come, but you have to come in the animal pajama suit papa bang pd gave you

4:23 pm prince gyu: alright, but please never refer to Bang pd as ‘papa’ again

4:23 pm hyuka: oh? Should i call him daddy bang instead?

4:23 pm Soobin: NO  
4:23 pm Soobin: maybe we need to start considering group therapy..  
\---------------------  
~Friday evening~

*hyuka and non-hyukas*

8:41 pm hyuka: what if we ordered 5 boxes of pizza

8:41 pm yeondone: we just ate

8:41 pm hyuka: and?

8:41 pm yeondone: valid  
8:41 pm yeondone: i want meat toppings

8:41 pm Soobin: can we have pineapple pizza

8:42 pm prince gyu: i would say something, but i don't invalidate others opinions

8:42 pm hyuka: i wore a giraffe print shirt last week and you called me tasteless

8:42 pm prince gyu: it was purple with white blobs  
8:42 pm prince gyu: i wasn’t invalidating you, i was helping you, like a therapist would help a misguided thief

8:43 pm hyunie: okay dumbledore  
8:43 pm hyunie: kai what toppings do you want I have an ordering website open rn

8:43 pm hyuka: i know i said what if we order five pizzas but what i meant was  
8:43 pm hyuka: i already ordered five pizzas and they’re on the way  
8:43 pm hyuka: everyone say thank you beomgyu

8:44 pm yeondone: thank you beomgyu

8:44 pm Soobin: thank you beomgyu?

8:44 pm prince gyu: i paid, according to the email i just got

8:44 pm hyunie: unbothered = rich boi behavior

\------------------------------

*private chat- yeon,bin*

9:03 pm yeon: what if i made spaghetti

9:03 pm bin: we still a box full of pizza if you’re still hungry

9:03 pm yeon: there goes our own recreation of the lady and the tramp scene..

9:04 pm bin: 何?  
\------------------------------------------------

*private chat- soob, ning*

9:05 pm soob: has yeonjun ever asked you to recreate a romantic scene with him  
9:05 pm soob: the titanic one doesn’t count, they didn’t love eachother

9:05 pm ning: hyung jack literally died for her

9:05 pm soob: fine it was one-sided, she didn’t love him, that door could’ve held them both  
9:05 pm soob: but that’s not what i asked you

9:06 pm ning: well he hasn’t asked me. Why are you asking me this right now tho?  
9:06 pm ning: did he ask you?

9:06 pm soob: well not directly ?  
9:06 pm soob: i don’t understand him much these days

9:07 pm ning: oh we’ve noticed  
9:07 pm ning: because i love my hyungs, i am going to help you  
9:07 pm ning: you are the rose to his jack

9:07 pm soob: what does that even mean  
9:08 pm soob: are you saying he’d drown for me

9:08 pm ning: i am this close 👌to bonking your head  
9:08 pm ning: what was it that you said about rose? Oh right “fine it was one-sided, she didn’t love him”

9:08 pm soob: ………………ᵒʰ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you guys think?  
> My soobinnie is gonna have a field day in the next chapter  
> The character soobin sends in their private chat is japanese, it means "what?"
> 
> I'm sorry if it wasn't very fluffy or light-hearted  
> I wasn't feeling too well, but I think it turned out nice?
> 
> please let me know!  
> I'll try to keep updating once a day  
> thank you so much for the kudos by the way!!!! <333


	6. the one where soobin is genuinely happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to crack loves <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that summary sounds so fishy lmao
> 
> I felt like I should've mentioned from the beginning that time stamps are important, so please look at those so you can get a better gist of time settings
> 
> I also apologize for the format, i can't seem to get the hang of ao3's format just yet 
> 
> also I've never actually seen sugar rush  
> I'm sorry haha

~Saturday morning~

*hyuka and non-hyukas*

9:40 am hyuka: jimin hyung is taking me out to breakfast  
9:40 am hyuka: name one thing you’ve done successfully

9:40 am yeondone: placed 1st monthly for everything

9:40 am hyunie: got a date today :P

9:40 am prince gyu: Yoongi hyung called me his Daegu bro

9:40 am Soobin: woke up without dread today :)

9:41 am hyuka: i had planned to roast all of you  
9:41 am hyuka: but i am genuinely happy you’re all happy (/>3<)/

\--------------------------------------

*private chat- yeon,bin*

10:01 am bin: hyung we should talk

10:01 am yeon: i agree, let’s go get donuts

10:01 am bin: yeah alright

\-------------------------------------------

*hyuka and non-hyukas*

*prince gyu changed his name to gyumbles*  
2:12 pm gyumbles: gyumbles felt some rumbles

2:12 pm Soobin: why can't you just say you felt an earthquake normally  
2:12 pm Soobin: is everyone okay though?

2:13 pm hyuka: yes, it wasn’t very big  
2:13 pm hyuka: jimin hyung is dropping me off in the dorms though, he’s got to go “check on my bros”

2:13 pm yeondone: where’s taehyun

2:14 pm gyumbles: he’s cleaning ice cream out of his clothes

2:14 pm hyuka: was it the earthquake

2:14 pm hyunie: a pole actually

2:14 pm hyuka: too busy staring at beomgyu i see

2:14 pm hyunie: considering he tripped, yes

2:15 pm Soobin: deserved

2:15 pm gyumbles: i didn’t get hurt thanks for asking soobin

2:15 pm Soobin: i didnt

2:15 pm gyumbles: your heart called out to me bro, i know you care <3

2:16 pm hyuka: earthquakes is just the earth trying to twerk

2:16 pm yeondone: .  
2:16 pm yeondone: why does that actually make sense

\------------------

3:04 pm hyuka: can we open a bakery

3:04 pm Soobin: why do you want to open a bakery

3:04 pm hyuka: it's my calling

3:04 pm yeondone: im pretty sure its called cravings bub  
3:04 pm yeondone: I'll order dessert and you can forget about the bakery yeah?

3:04 pm hyuka: order dessert, but I still want to be a baker

3:05 pm hyunie: dont mind kai  
3:05 pm hyunie: we were binge-watching Sugar Rush on Netflix

3:05 pm hyuka: I have to become a baker hyung  
3:05 pm hyuka: I can definitely do better than the people on the show >:(

3:06 pm gyumbles: what if we hold a baking contest for kai  
3:06 pm gyumbles: we can set him against little kids, so he wins and gets over his baking dream

3:06 pm Soobin: that is both cruel and genius

3:06 pm hyuka: i changed my mind  
3:06 pm hyuka: I could never hurt a baby

3:06 pm gyumbles: you're welcome everyone

\--------

5:34 pm yeondone: im going to get a haircut  
5:34 pm yeondone: does anyone want to come with

5:34 pm hyunie: I am not allowed to cut my hair anymore apparently  
5:34 pm hyunie: im gonna become Tarzan

5:35 pm Soobin: I'm not gonna question that, I've learned from my mistakes  
5:35 pm Soobin: I'll go with you hyung  
5:35 pm Soobin: I'm gonna pick up your hair and plant it, I want little yeonjunnies

5:35 pm hyuka: thats as cute as it is disgusting  
5:35 pm hyuka: please don't do that

5:36 pm gyumbles: i second that

5:36 pm Soobin: fine I won't go then 

5:36 pm hyuka: wait  
5:36 pm hyuka: does this mean  
5:36 pm hyuka: Soobin has a plant fetish

5:36 pm Soobin: I DO NOT  
5:37 pm Soobin: I'm gonna tell Hoseok you're going into the dark web

5:37 pm hyuka: IM NOT  
5:37 pm hyuka: I'm gonna tell Jin who ate his brownies last week if you keep up this anti-kai behavior

5:37 pm gyumbles: kai with a grudge is scary

\---------------------

*private chat- yeon,bin*

6:00 pm yeon: im coming back now, don't tell the boys

6:00 pm bin: that's a little suspicious not gonna lie

6:00 pm yeon: I'm dressed like a clown

6:01 pm bin: so you're just in your regular clothes

6:01 pm yeon: I cannot believe you're slandering me  
6:01 pm yeon: you're so cute  
6:01 pm yeon: have a camera ready, those three need to let go of some stress

6:02 pm bin: screaming is very relaxing  
6:02 pm bin: let me know when you're at the door

\-----------------

*hyuka and non-hyukas*

6:15 pm hyuka: I'm not speaking to either of you ever again

6:15 pm hyunie: you guys owe me a new kidney

6:15 pm gyumbles: good luck finding 15,000 dollars to replace my heart

6:16 pm yeondone: ahh my babies  
6:16 pm yeondone: you guys have been too wound up lately, this was to help you relax

6:16 pm hyunie: tell that to my burst neck vein

6:16 pm Soobin: Hyunie I have video evidence that you did not burst a vein  
6:17 pm Soobin: come out of your room, hyung has cake for you all

6:17 pm hyuka: I'll come out, but this does not make us even

6:17 pm gyumbles: yknow I remember hyungs being awfully stressed too..

6:17 pm hyunie: it's a good thing they have us three to help them, right guys :)

6:18 pm yeondone: I have many regrets

6:18 pm Soobin: why does my life feel threatened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think loves <3  
> If you have requests too let me know. or questions!
> 
> I know this one is a bit shorter than usual, but I wantd to get back into light-hearted content 
> 
> thank you for being so kind to me, it means a lot <333 
> 
> feedback and kudos is always appreciated!!


	7. runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to our fluffy crack loving ways <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> babies i am so sorry for not updating yesterday  
> i started a course on business and financing, so i didn't have time to work on the fic
> 
> i hope you enjoy this chapter  
> please let me know what you think

~Sunday afternoon~ 

*hyuka and non-hyukas* 

1:03 pm Soobin: why does it sound like the iron giant is in our kitchen  
1:03 pm Soobin: seriously what is up will all the noise 

1:03 pm hyuka: Beomgyu hyung thinks he can challenge the best pan fighter there is 

1:03 pm hyunie: you pointed a pan at him and yelled "defend yourself waffle lover" 

1:03 pm gyumbles: waffles are superior  
1:03 pm gyumbles: sorry if we woke you up hyung  
1:03 pm gyumbles: today will mark the day when Sir Beomgyu beat Sir Kai

1:04 pm yeondone: I've only been gone for 5 minutes  
1:04 pm yeondone: please tell me you guys have some sort of protective armor on 

1:04 pm hyunie: don't worry hyung, they are heavily wrapped in bubble wrap  
1:04 pm hyunie: please try not to trip on all the opened albums that are on the floor

1:04 pm yeondone: ...  
1:04 pm yeondone: @Soobin please get up and make sure my kids don't die  
1:04 pm yeondone: they've got 2 minutes to sort themselves out 

1:05 pm Soobin: and if they don't?

1:05 pm yeondone: call Jungkook hyung, ask him to come over 

1:05 pm Soobin: I don't think he will be able to scold them 

1:05 pm yeondone: no need, one look at him and they'll be too flustered to move at all 

1:05 pm hyunie: they read the gc, they began "Spring cleaning" early this year it seems 

1:06 pm Soobin: it's literally summer already but go off I guess

1:06 pm yeondone: considering our “spring cleaning” was always done mid november i say it’s a win

\-----------------  
*hyuka and non-hyukas*

-yeondone has changed his name to leatherjun-  
3:20 pm leatherjun: i was born to wear leather  
3:20 pm leatherjun: no one can deny these facts 

-Soobin changed his name to happybin-  
3:21 pm happybin: please stop watching your own fancams

3:21 pm leatherjun: it’s not a crime to love myself  
3:21 pm leatherjun: our hyungs have a whole album about loving ourselves 

-gyumbles changed his name to fairy-  
3:21 pm fairy: jumping on this self loving train to say  
3:21 pm fairy: i’d be the absolute best fairy out of all of us 

3:22 pm hyunie: you’d be the only fairy out of us  
3:22 pm hyunie: I’d be a Fae 

3:22 pm hyuka: im not surprised, you’re basically a fae without wings or magic anyway

3:22 pm happybin: so a human

3:22 pm hyuka: I’m trying to be philosophical dammit

3:22 pm fairy: aww kai’s a big boy now, look at him use big words

3:22 pm hyuka: i will step on you  
3:22 pm hyuka: anyway- I think i’d be a siren 

3:22 pm leatherjun: you’re already halfway there, just learn to breathe underwater and done

3:23 pm hyunie: what a vague way to say his voice is enchanting 

3:23 pm hyuka: i knew that already but thank you junnie hyung

3:23 pm leatherjun: since i look absolutely stunning in black and leather  
3:23 pm leatherjun: it’s only fair i be a vampire  
3:23 pm leatherjun: it would be cruel to deprive the world of yeonjun

3:23 pm happybin: my favourite narcissist <3  
3:23 pm happybin: i think i’d be a hellhound

3:24 pm fairy: furry

3:24 pm hyunie: arsonist 

3:24 pm happybin: istg it’s always you two  
3:24 pm happybin: teasing soobin hours aren’t open, come back in 4-5 business days

3:24 pm leatherjun: cute  
3:24 pm leatherjun: anyway  
3:24 pm leatherjun: me in leather, god tier shvt

*hyuka, hyunie, and fairy have left the chat*

3:25 pm leatherjun: what is this anti-yeonjun agenda  
3:25 pm leatherjun: my own children  
3:25 pm leatherjun: is this what abandonment feels like  
3:25 pm leatherjun: next thing i know, they’ll be moving out 

3:25 pm happybin: i love your overdramatic moments  
3:25 pm happybin: dont worry hyung, they’ll be begging to be let in the chat again soon

3:26 pm leatherjun: you’re right, soon they’ll be kissing my feet hehehehe

\----------------------

*kingbeom, prince hyun, dragon kai*

3:26 pm kingbeom: how long do you guys think it’ll take them to figure out we have a separate gc

3:26 pm dragon kai: i dont even think that possibility has crossed their minds yet

3:26 pm prince hyun: let’s go hide in bts hyungs’ dorms

3:26 pm kingbeom: will they let us in  
3:26 pm kingbeom: we could sneak in, but if we’re caught?

3:26 pm dragon kai: we don’t have to say anything, it’d be a fun surprise for them  
3:26 pm dragon kai: what if we pretend we were playing hide and seek

3:27 pm prince hyun: in that case, I’ll text soobin hyung :)

\----------------------------------

*private chat- soobun, cutae*

3:27 pm cutae: we’re running away

3:27 pm soobun: YOU’RE WHAT  
3:27 pm soobun: WHERE TO???  
3:27 pm soobun: ANSWER ME  
3:27 pm soobun: PLEASE BE REASONABLE  
3:27 pm soobun: YOU GUYS COULD GET HURT  
3:28 pm soobun: HELLO????

\-----------------------------------

*kingbeom, prince hyun, dragon kai*

3:29 pm kingbeom: taehyun what did you tell them  
3:29 pm kingbeom: why am i being spammed by yeonjun and soobin

3:29 pm dragon kai: yeonjun hyung just said i could end up in a ditch unless we came home…  
3:29 pm dragon kai: what kind of hide and seek game ends like that

3:30 pm prince hyun: ahh  
3:30 pm prince hyun: i told them we were running away  
3:30 pm prince hyun: i didn’t think they would take me seriously  
3:30 pm prince hyun: you guys say stuff like that and they don’t bat an eye

3:30 pm dragon kai: you’re the responsible one and you never say things like that, of course they’re gonna freak  
3:30 pm dragon kai: although i must say, their panic makes me feel cherished

3:30 pm kingbeom: aww my poor hyunie  
3:31 pm kingbeom: this is why you have to break rules with us more often <3  
3:31 pm kingbeom: dont worry guys, hyung will fix everything  
3:31 pm kingbeom: go to bts hyungs dorms fast tho, we might get our asses beat by yeonjun for scaring them 

\-------------------------------

*private chat- yeon, beom*

3:31 pm beom: we aren’t running away hyung  
3:31 pm beom: we just wanted to play hide n seek with you guys

3:31 pm yeon: YOU LITTLE SHVTS  
3:31 pm yeon: couldn’t you just have said that  
3:31 pm yeon: do you know how worried we were  
3:31 pm yeon: we’re STRESS eating >:(

3:32 pm beom: taehyun told you we were running away and the first thing you guys do is stuff yourselves with food  
3:32 pm beom: were you worried or celebrating 

3:35 pm beom: it’s been three minutes where is my answer  
\----------------------------------

*hyuka and non-hyukas*

-happybin changed chat name to yeonbin and the ugly duckies-

-happybin added hueningkai, beomgyu, and taehyun to chat-

3:35 pm hueningkai: ew our default names  
3:35 pm hueningkai: give me admin access, i need to change my name

3:35 pm happybin: no  
3:35 pm happybin: next time think twice about pulling a joke that scary  
3:35 pm happybin: we were sick with worry 

3:35 pm beomgyu: you were sick because you were stuffing yourself with food hmph 

3:35 pm happybin: yeonjun why 

3:35 pm beomgyu: SO YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA DENY IT 

3:36 pm taehyun: so this is pain 

3:36 pm leatherjun: we were gonna search for you 

3:36 pm hueningkai: sure jan  
3:36 pm hueningkai: well now we're really not coming home 

3:36 pm taehyun: we'll be with bts hyungs 

3:36 pm beomgyu: and don't come for us, we're sleeping over here >:( 

3:37 pm leatherjun: okay have fun 

3:37 pm happybin: see you guys tomorrow then <3 

3:37 pm hueningkai: why aren't you guys begging for our return 

3:37 pm leatherjun: you'll be back before midnight 

3:37 pm taehyun: no we won't 

3:38 pm happybin: 30,000 won say otherwise 

3:38 pm beomgyu: well now we'll make sure to not come back before 12:02 am  
3:38 pm beomgyu: not that we were planning on coming back anyway 

3:38 pm leatherjun: later babies, soobin and I gotta make dinner for ourselves <3 

\---------------------  
*kingbeom, prince hyun, dragon kai* 

3:38 pm dragon kai: do you think they'll save some for us 

3:38 pm prince hyun: really kai

3:38 pm dragon kai: it's not my fault yeonjun's food is amazing :( 

3:38 pm kingbeom: we can't go back  
3:38 pm kingbeom: i refuse to lose their bet 

3:38 pm prince hyun: gyu, you don't need the money 

3:38 pm kingbeom: it's not about the money hyunie, it's a matter of pride 

3:38 pm dragon kai: what if they make dessert :( 

3:38 pm kingbeom: good question 

\----------------- 

*yeonbin and the ugly duckies* 

3:39 pm beomgyu: i resent this chat name  
3:39 pm beomgyu: are you guys gonna make dessert 

3:40 pm leatherjun: we might be  
3:40 pm leatherjun: why? are you in interested?? ;)

3:40 pm beomgyu: no  
3:40 pm beomgyu: shut up 

\-------------------------- 

*kingbeom, prince hyun, dragon kai* 

3:41 pm kingbeom: we don't need their dessert  
3:41 pm kingbeom: with 30,000 won we can buy dessert ourselves 

3:41 pm dragon kai: but it wont have yeonjun's secret ingredient  
3:41 pm dragon kai: store bought dessert doesn't come with hyung's love :( 

3:42 pm prince hyun: dammit kai  
3:42 pm prince hyun: stop making valid arguments 

4:00 pm dragon kai: we've been standing outside bts hyungs dorms for 20 minutes now..  
4:00 pm dragon kai: are we going on anytime soon  
4:00 pm dragon kai: I'm hungry 

4:00 pm kingbeom: just hold on, I'm thinking 

4:00 pm prince hyun: let's just go back 

4:00 pm kingbeom: NO  
4:00 pm kingbeom: we haven't been standing out here just to give into Yeonjun's witchcraft 

4:01 pm dragon kai: the term you are looking for is- DELICIOUS FOOD  
4:01 pm dragon kai: i can't take it 

4:01 pm dragon kai: I'M GOING BACK 

4:01 pm kingbeom: …..  
4:01 pm kingbeom: well I guess it's only 30,000 won 

4:01 pm prince hyun: we didn't even last an hour  
4:01 pm prince hyun: and yet i feel no regret 

\----------------------

*yeonbin and the ugly duckies*

4:10 pm beomgyu: hyungs, why is the door locked 

4:12 pm beomgyu: hello? 

4:13 pm hueningkai: are you guys really not gonna let us in :( 

4:13 pm taehyun: we’re sorry, very sorry  
4:13 pm taehyun: now let us in

4:13 pm beomgyu: i cant believe they really locked us out  
4:13 pm beomgyu: we should start carrying our keys

\------------------------------  
*private chat- jun hyung, baby kai*

4:15 pm jun hyung: hey bun, have you let in the little assholes yet

4:15 pm baby kai: wrong chat hyung  
4:15 pm baby kai: wait  
4:15 pm baby kai: are you talking about us 

4:16 pm jun hyung: guess

4:16 pm baby kai: no?

4:16 pm jun hyung: guess again

4:16 pm baby kai: :(

4:16 pm jun hyung: ily <3

\--------------------------------------------

~Sunday night~

-leatherjun changed chat name to lovely birds

-leatherjun changed beomgyu’s name to baby duck-

-leatherjun changed taehyun’s name to baby bird-

-leatherjun changed hueningkai’s name to baby swan-

-leatherjun has changed his name to white swan-  
10:48 pm white swan: what did my babies learn today

10:48 pm baby swan: yeonbin hyungs best hyungs <3

10:48 pm baby bird: no chef’s love compares to hyungs’ love

10:48 pm baby duck: you and soobin hyung are dirty players  
10:48 pm baby duck: but i’ll swallow my pride for you <333

10:49 pm happybin: y’all cute and all  
10:49 pm happybin: but the three of you are in charge of cleaning up now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these boys go through a lot of username changes, would you guys like a username guide from now on?  
> hope you guys enjoyed the chapter <3
> 
> feedback and kudos greatly appreciated >3<


	8. ropavejero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weewoo hello  
> my class has been keeping me busy  
> (i apologize for any spelling errors, i only skim checked the chapter after i wrote it)  
> these chapters are gonna be shorter  
> i used to write 4-7 pages on docs, but because i do this for fun  
> im gonna shorten it to 3-5 pages  
> i don't want to stress over something i do to relieve my stress  
> i hope you guys can understand

~Monday morning~

-baby swan changed his name to softkai:  
9:27 am softkai: hey guys, a really weird man was just here

9:27 am happybin: please tell me you did not let in a stranger

-white swan changed his name to yeonjun-  
9:27 am yeonjun: are we really gonna need to lecture you on stranger danger again kai

9:27 am softkai: no no it’s all okay!  
9:27 am softkai: we talked with the door closed, he on the outside  
9:27 am softkai: i said he was strange because he asked if i wanted to sell anything

-baby duck changed his name to yumgyu-  
9:28 am yumgyu: isn’t he the one supposed to be trying to sell you something?

9:28 am softkai: that’s why i thought he was weird

-baby bird changed his name to slushtae-  
9:28 am slushtae: what was he gonna pay you with

9:28 am softkai: he said he’d give me the items half worth in cash, and the other half in twinkies  
9:28 am softkai: i had nothing to sell so he left

9:29 am happybin: could’ve sold beomgyu

9:29 am yumgyu: ????? what i do

9:29 am happybin: kidding <3

9:29 am yumgyu: i bet i could sell you!

9:29 am yeonjun: NO  
9:29 am yeonjun: no one is selling anyone of us

9:29 am slushtae: i bet i would sell for the highest bid

9:29 am softkai: nu uh  
9:29 am softkai: im gonna go look for that man, you’ll see  
9:30 am softkai: im worth more twinkies than all of you!

9:30 am yeonjun: you better fuvking not  
9:30 am yeonjun: kai istg if you go out that door im gonna call Seokjin hyung

9:30 am happybin: there go my twinkies

9:30 am yeonjun: i should kick you, damn instigator

9:30 am happybin: buy me a twinkie first

\------------------------------  
~Monday afternoon~

*private chat- Tallhyun, smallkai

2:17 pm Tallhyun: i cant find my left sock

2:17 pm smallkai: how do you know it’s your left sock

2:17 pm Tallhyun: because i have my right sock on

2:17 pm smallkai: but if you switch the sock to your left foot it becomes your left sock  
2:17 pm smallkai: so it’s actually your right sock missing

2:17 pm Tallhyun: what no  
2:17 pm Tallhyun: that works both ways  
2:17 pm Tallhyun: yknow what it doesn’t matter, just help me look for a small grey sock

2:18 pm smallkai: right or left sock

2:18 pm Tallhyun: i am gonna sit on tobin if you keep this up

2:18 pm smallkai: no wait  
2:18 pm smallkai: i know where your sock is

2:18 pm Tallhyun: where

2:18 pm smallkai: tobin is wearing it

2:18 pm Tallhyun: if i weren’t in a hurry i’d argue with you

2:18 pm smallkai: wait where are you going  
2:18 pm smallkai: can i come

2:19 pm Tallhyun: im going to the gym  
2:19 pm Tallhyun: if you’re dressed you can come

2:19 pm smallkai: aha no thanks  
2:19 pm smallkai: my self love doesn’t allow me to torture my body  
\--------------------------

~Monday evening~

-yeonjun changed chat name to tasteless birds-  
7:45 pm yeonjun: i am never taking you guys shopping with me again

7:45 pm happybin: to be fair  
7:45 pm happybin: we didn’t actually want to go

7:45 pm slushtae: hyung you dress like a grandpa and shop like a mom  
7:45 pm slushtae: we were looking around for two hours  
7:45 pm slushtae: and you didn’t even buy anything

7:45 pm softkai: i thought we were going grocery shopping

7:45 pm yumgyu: we clapped everytime you tried something on  
7:45 pm yumgyu: why are we being called tasteless

7:45 pm yeonjun: you clapped while laughing at me  
7:46 pm yeonjun: hmph forget it, im over it

7:46 pm happybin: that’s good, you shouldn’t stress yourself out too much ^^  
7:46 pm happybin: what are you making for dinner

7:46 pm yeonjun: i am not, i need a nap  
7:46 pm yeonjun: order food or something

7:46 pm softkai: IM GONNA COOK

7:47 pm slushtae: … are you sure?

7:47 pm softkai: ive done it before i can do it again!

\---------------------------------

8:15 pm yeonjun: is something burning

8:15 pm happybin: oh good you’re awake  
8:15 pm happybin: kai lit the oven on fire

8:15 pm yeonjun: he what  
8:15 pm yeonjun: has no one put it out yet????

8:15 pm happybin: namjoon hyung is trying his best but i don’t think he’s gonna be able to do it anytime soon  
8:15 pm happybin: come out of your room, we might need firefighters to help us

8:15 pm yeonjun: i can never sleep in this house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a crack au with no plot  
> because plots call for angst  
> and this is an angst free zone <33  
> i hope this chapter brought some sort of smile to your face
> 
> i won't be able to update daily anymore, it'll be like one day yes, one day no  
> only until my class is over  
> i also have 5 other fic prompts pending and im working on two already  
> once this fic is completed i'll start posting the others
> 
> Thank you for reading my loves <333


	9. the one where hobi is a father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> crack with bangtan cameo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because of my class, my brain is exhausted so i can only give you guys short updates  
> i hope you don't mind too much and still enjoy the chapter

~Tuesday morning~

*Hoseok and the 6 snakes*

10:13 am hobi: my lawyer will be in contact with you guys

10:13 am Joon: it was an accident i swear

10:13 am meowngi: i was not a part of this

10:13 am WWH: i don’t see how any of it is my fault

10:13 am hobi: none of you stopped Namjoon from walking into my studio, ergo you’re all criminals

10:14 am Taehug: in my defense, jungkook said it would be fun to watch  
10:14 am Taehug: and he was right, namjoon flailed around like squidward

10:14 am Koo: hobi hyung, namjoon only spent 2 minutes in your studio  
10:14 am Koo: not everything was destroyed, only tiny figurines 

10:14 am Jiminie: in those two minutes only about 1000 dollars were destroyed

10:14 am Joon: I’ll replace everything i promise hyung

10:15 am hobi: oh yeah? How are you gonna replace the drawings the babies gave me huh  
10:15 am hobi: how are you gonna replace their love that was lost in the drawings you trampled over, crushing my soul in the process.

10:15 am Joon: and if i invite them all for a sleepover party

10:15 am hobi: crops watered, skin cleared, the sun is shining once again :D

10:15 am Koo: the day Hoseok hyung has kids, it’s bye bye kookie huh 

10:15 am Joon: all of you are so dramatic. I am 100% sure this is Jin’s fault

\-----------------------------------------------------

*BTS hyungs and Babies uwu*

10:20 am Namjoon: hello babies  
10:20 am Namjoon: you are all invited to a sleepover at our dorm  
10:20 am Namjoon: we’ll be home at 5pm you can come then, bring extra clothes and pjs

10:20 am Koo: hehee you said pjs

10:20 am Soobin: ahhh thank you so much. What snacks should we bring?

10:20 am Jin: with me there, there is no need for snacks 

10:20 am Jiminie: are you cooking for us?

10:21 am Jin: no  
10:21 am Jin: it’s me, i’m the snack 

10:21 am Soobin: right, we’ll stop by the convenience store before heading over

10:21 am Yeonjun: Jin hyung, if I buy a life size cardboard cutout of you, will you cook for us

10:21 am Jin: you could’ve just asked, I would’ve said yes  
10:21 am Jin: i know this is just your excuse to buy one <3  
10:22 am JIn: yknow what since you’re so cute, I’ll sign it too <3

\---------------------------------------------

*tasteless birds*

10:22 am yeonjun: if i put up the signed cardboard cutout for sale  
10:22 am yeonjun: how much do you think the Jin stans will give me for it

10:22 am happybin: is that what your plan was 

10:22 am slushtae: hyung isn’t that extortion  
10:22 am slushtae: you could get 200 dollars for it

10:22 am yumgyu: if you ask Jin hyung to kiss it with thick lipstick, I bet you could get 500 dollars for it

10:22 am softkai: i can’t believe i was raised by a bunch of con-men  
10:23 am softkai: i learn so much everyday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoped you enjoyed.  
> i can't write the sleepover party because they'll be interacting without phones, sorry loves <3


	10. cat cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because i am a father kai enthusiast <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh three days later i am back!!  
> I apologize for the wait, I found myself really busy with my class  
> but since it's saturday now, i'll update twice today!

~Monday morning~

11:24 am softkai: what if we bought a cat 

11:24 am yumgyu: how much money you got 

11:24 am softkai: 2 dollars :DD 

11:24 am happybin: how much is the cat you want?

11:24 am softkai: 1200 dollars :DD 

11:25 am yumgyu: *slips on shades* drop your paypal moot <3

11:25 am slushtae: sugar daddy gyu makes an appearance 

11:25 am yeonjun: no he does not   
11:25 am yeonjun: we can't get a cat 

11:26 am softkai: but hyung :( 

11:26 am yeonjun: no 

11:26 am softkai: guess I'll go cry in my room   
11:26 am softkai: sad   
11:26 am softkai: and alone   
11:26 am softkai: no fluffy warm babie to keep me company   
11:26 am softkai: crying. alone   
11:26 am softkai: did i mention I'm lonely 

11:27 am yeonjun: you did, but you'll have 50+ plushies to keep you company

11:27 am softkai: what is this kai-phobia behavior >:(

11:27 am yeonjun: I'm sorry bub, we really can't have a cat  
11:27 am yeonjun: the only reason taehyun has aengdu is because snakes are low maintenance   
11:27 am yeonjun: you can come cry in hyung's arms tho <333 

11:28 am softkai: i refuse   
11:28 am softkai: i will never cuddle any of you again 

\--------------------------------

12:30 pm softkai: i have an announcement 

12:30 pm happybin: if its - “i bought a cat against yeonjun’s will”  
12:30 pm happybin: i will have new found respect for you

12:30 pm softkai: actually the announcement is i found a lost kitten and am bringing it home

12:30 pm yeonjun: i have an announcement too  
12:30 pm yeonjun: i am putting kai up for adoption

12:31 pm softkai: oh yeah?  
12:31 pm softkai: and what if i put YOU up for adoption

12:31 pm yeonjun: please do  
12:31 pm yeonjun: i can finally be free from being a housemaid

12:31 pm slushtae: or we could all just move out into our own separate apartments

12:31 pm yumgyu: oh no is this going to be my origins story of my future abandonment issues   
12:31 pm yumgyu: for the sake of future gyu’s mental health and not becoming a vengeful villain   
12:31 pm yumgyu: none of you are allowed to leave our home

12:31 pm softkai: kai cant come to the phone right now  
12:32 pm softkai: kai’s new fur baby ran off and kai is going to scream any second now

12:32 pm yeonjun: do not chase it, if he runs out into the street do not follow!!

12:32 pm happybin: father jun is back, guess we have to keep kai now

12:32 pm slushtae: you say that as if jun hyung was actually gonna get rid of his FAVOURITE child

12:32 pm yumgyu: its okay hyunie, you’re my favourite <3

12:32 pm happybin: salty salty

\-------------------

-softkai has changed his name to sadkai-  
3:04 pm sadkai: after hours of searching, im sad to report  
3:04 pm sadkai: furbaby has not been found  
3:04 pm sadkai: he’s lost because of me and will starve to death probably  
3:04 pm sadkai: im coming home now

3:04 pm yeonjun: that’s too bad buddy  
3:04 pm yeonjun: what colour was the kitten anyway?

3:05 pm sadkai: light grey with white paws, why?

3:05 pm yeonjun: im gonna draw his picture and bury it, you need closure dont you

3:05 pm happybin: the sentiment is nice, but the thought of you doing that gives me sociopath vibes 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i downsized the chapters from 100 to 50 chapters  
> i was a little over-confident with how much i could write into the crack au  
> but as it's my first, I don't want it being to long.  
> so i am downsizing it to 25 chapters.  
> I want to work on my other au prompts as well.  
> I've got other writing styles i want to try so i hope you can understand why i am downsizing to 25
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoyed this little update  
> thank you guys for reading <333


	11. foreshadowing :))))))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fun little thing just for you <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title has to do with what happens  
> in this chapter there's a hint for another one of my au prompts  
> can you find it? ;))))
> 
> i'll be sticking with shorter chapters from now on  
> if you guys ever want to talk to me, you can dm me on twitter @Seungkwanbabie

~Tuesday morning~

11:34 am happybin: ive joined a baking class :D

11:34 am yumgyu: baker soobin is gonna rule the world

11:34 am slushtae: that’s great hyung, but why now?

11:34 am happybin:i am going to bake a 50 foot cake statue of hueningkai

11:34 am dadkai: i am flattered, but please add my son in my arms to have my full approval 

11:34 am yeonjun: was that really your whole incentive for spontaneously joining the class 

11:35 am happybin: it is the only reason to become a baker ever  
11:35 am happybin: the bakers who do not at least attempt to bake giant statues of whatever are failures in the culinary world

11:35 am yeonjun: i mean  
11:35 am yeonjun: but are we gonna be allowed to eat him

11:35 am dadkai: there in cannibalism implied in that message   
11:35 am dadkai: i am: scared

11:35 am happybin: sure, if you wanna taste my blood, sweat and tears

11:36 am slushtae: disgusting. unsanitary. do not bring that thing anywhere near me

11:36 am happybin: first thing imma do after it’s done is throw a chunk of you

11:36 am slushtae: .  
11:36 am slushtae: what kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?

\----------------------------

~Tuesday Afternoon~

-happybin changed his name to disgustedbin-  
3:28 pm disgustedbin: i have quit my baking class

3:28 pm yeonjun: you lasted longer than i thought

3:28 pm disgustedbin: are you trying to say I have commitment issues

3:28 pm yeonjun: yes

3:28 pm dadkai: why, i was promised a statue :(

3:28 pm disgustedbin: legend has it a small red-headed gremlin threatened my teacher, and to avoid being sued i had to quit

3:28 pm yumgyu: lmao what did taehyun do

-slushtae changed his name to proudhyun-  
3:28 pm proudhyun: i prevented the creation of a monstrosity, bow down to your saviour<3

3:28 pm dadkai: are you calling me ugly   
3:28 pm dadkai: because i can assure you i am the damnest best looking human being to ever bless this forsaken earth

3:29 pm yumgyu: not at kai bringing out the big words when he’s mad uwu

3:29 pm disgustedbin: Taehyun showed up to my class, grabbed my bowl of cake mix, took out a bottle of god knows what, poured it into my mix and threatened to shove it down my teacher’s throat if he allowed me to continue in the class  
3:29 pm disgustedbin: i was shoved out of class and then Taehyun threw the mix on me as a reminder to not and i quote “threaten the immortal of the group” ever again.  
3:29 pm disgustedbin: i smell like cat piss

3:29 pm proudhyun: dont make me seem so aggressive geez  
3:29 pm proudhyun: he forgot to mention i bought him ice cream afterwards

3:29 pm yumgyu: have you eaten today hyunie?

3:29 pm proudhyun: no but whats that got to do with this

3:30 pm yumgyu: nothing bub <3  
3:30 pm yumgyu: please remember to eat in times of distress, your brain will be able to reason better

3:30 pm disgustedbin: in other words, next time you wanna through a fuvking fit please shove food in your mouth first 

3:30 pm dadkai: and here we have the 85th case of hangry tae striking again  
3:30 pm dadkai: we’ll be back at 8 with more on the case, this has been Exposee with your main host, Huening Kamal Kai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you find the clue for my au prompt ;)???
> 
> Hehehe  
> thank you for reading loves <3  
> as tomorrow is sunday, I might be a able to upload again :D
> 
> thank you so much for the kudos btw!!


	12. caillou's a little shvt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weewoo   
> beomgyu is a mr.crabs stan
> 
> we're used to seeing sookai being really sweet with eachother irl and taking care of eachother  
> but i like to add a little something to their dynamics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kai's gonna suffer here but only a little because i love him
> 
> today it's soobin's turn to have the braincells :DD   
> he loses a few but its okay <3 
> 
> btw i am not a caillou anti but i am not a fan of him either

~wednesday afternoon~

2:12 pm proudhyun: we should go bike riding

2:12 pm disgustedbin: im good thanks 

-yumgyu changed his name to thighs-  
2:12 pm thighs: hell yeah, ill race all of you

2:12 pm yeonjun: you cannot beat me, but yes i’ll come with

2:12 pm dadkai: i’ll stay with soobin hyung  
2:12 pm dadkai: exercise is not something i will put up with 

2:13 pm disgustedbin: i knew I raised you right <3 

\---------------------------

3:52 pm dadkai: @yeonjun can you come home please   
3:52 pm dadkai: @proudhyun @thighs please go buy as many wigs as possible 

3:52 pm yeonjun: I'm scared to ask but   
3:52 pm yeonjun: what happened 

3:53 pm dadkai: it's all soobin hyung's fault 

3:53 pm disgustedbin: in my defense   
3:53 pm disgustedbin: i told you we should have gotten a stylist's help 

3:53 pm dadkai: you said you could handle it and if I didn't trust you then I should get a stylist's help   
3:53 pm dadkai: I didn't want to hurt your feelings but now I wish I had 

3:53 pm thighs: if you're asking for wigs…   
3:54 pm thighs: did soobin cut your hair

3:54 pm yeonjun: oh god my son   
3:54 pm yeonjun: @disgustedbin did you get pics 

3:54 pm disgustedbin: yeah lmao 

-dadkai changed his name to baldkai-  
3:54 pm baldkai: he shaved my head   
3:54 pm baldkai: MY ENTIRE HEAD IS EXPOSED 

3:54 pm proudhyun: embrace the shiny, save money

3:55 pm baldkai: ill shave YOUR head if you come home with no wigs 

3:55 pm proudhyun: okay okay, but if your wig flies off in public what then 

3:55 pm thighs: we'll bring a lot of sharpies  
3:55 pm thighs: we'll make it look like a buzzcut 

3:56 pm disgustedbin: thug kai coming to life soon 

3:56 pm baldkai: you're gonna be the first I mug 

3:56 pm yeonjun: oh god he's learning 

\------------------------------- 

-baldkai changed his name caillou-  
6:13 pm caillou: until my hair grows back i want to called caillou 

-thighs changed his name to mr.crabs-  
6:13 pm mr.crabs: if we’re changing our names while caillou’s hair grows then you guys can only refer to me as mr.crabs  
6:13 pm mr.crabs: i will not respond to any other name until a hair grows on caillou’s baldass head 

6:13 pm caillou: thank you for pointing out ever so gracefully pointing out that i am bald

6:13 pm proudhyun: i mean  
6:14 pm proudhyun: you did name yourself after the bald bratty child  
6:14 pm proudhyun: who also apparently never grows hair

6:14 pm disgustedbin: does that mean by naming himself caillou he just cursed himself to stay bald forever

6:14 pm caillou: please refrain from giving the universe ideas on how to make my life miserable some more thanks

-yeonjun has changed his name to dracula-  
6:14 pm dracula: then my new name for the time being will be Dracula until the universe gets the hint  
6:15 pm dracula: i would be VERY MISERABLE if i were turned into dracula 

6:15 pm proudhyun: considering you’d have to watch us die, i agree 

6:15 pm dracula: oh  
6:15 pm dracula: oh no  
6:15 pm dracula: I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK AHHHA AHKJSDSJDLJSLKASJLSJLS  
-dracula changed his name to normal life expectancy yeonjun-  
6:15 pm normal life expectancy yeonjun: it would be a SHAME if i were to live a normal life until the end of my years with my boys mhm mhm

6:16 pm disgustedbin: you are very stupid but i l-word you

6:16 pm caillou: i cant believe you’re out here PDA-ing in front of my misery  
6:16 pm caillou: the disrespect-

6:16 pm proudhyun: you disrespected yourself the moment you named yourself caillou 

6:16 pm caillou: yeah well your boyfriend named himself after a greedy rich crab

6:17 pm proudhyun: im not gonna say it cause yall already know but gyu s**** d**** 

6:17 pm normal life expectancy yeonjun: if that says what i think it says, i am gonna confiscate your phone 

6:17 pm mr.crabs: caillou could never be an entrepreneur like mr.crabs with all those non-money-making-tantrums 

6:17 pm disgustedbin: i don’t understand how any of this is an important conversation   
6:17 pm disgustedbin: please keep this discourse out of the chat, i can feel my brain cells dieing from reading this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did ya think?  
> I've been busy and not so motivated but i hope the chapter was good enough  
> MOA babies, are you streaming? You should be, gotta do our best for the boys!   
> Even if you just stream once a day, that's something!
> 
> thank you for the kudos babies <3


	13. jungkook hyung enthusiast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little store adventure  
> jungkook babie  
> everyone babie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am tired hahaaa wooo  
> i apologize for any spelling errors  
> my brain is tired from my messed up sleeping schedule 
> 
> i might've messed up the format but im not sure, so if i did i apologize for that too
> 
> This is basically a path opener for the vacation chapter i've been wanting to do

~Thursday afternoon ~

*private chat- yeon,bin* 

1:12 pm yeon: can you go buy a new stove 

1:12 pm bin: ?  
1:12 pm bin: what's wrong with the one we've got? 

1:12 pm yeon: beomgyu tried to bake his shoes  
1:12 pm yeon: he wanted them to become huge and squishy…  
1:12 pm yeon: anyway his shoes were ruined, obvi, and he went king Kong on the poor stove 

1:13 pm bin: why cant he buy it 

1:13 pm yeon: hyuka and hyunie are making sure he doesn't escape the circle of seafood 

1:13 pm bin: his punishment is a little weird but alright I guess  
1:13 pm bin: you think if I bring jungkook hyung with me the store owner will give us the stove for free 

1:13 pm yeon: you can try  
1:13 pm yeon: capitalists don't need anymore money 😤 

\------------------------ 

*private chat- mr.jeon, lil bun* 

1:17 pm lil bun: when did this become my user…  
1:17 pm lil bun: anyway- hyung could you come with me to buy a new stove 

1:17 pm mr.jeon: i could  
1:17 pm mr.jeon: but why should I 

1:17 pm lil bun: the world is too big and cruel for little me :( 

1:18 pm mr.jeon: ..  
1:18 pm mr.jeon: a babie-  
1:18 pm mr.jeon: well, I mean, if you put it like that  
1:18 pm mr.jeon: give me like 5 minutes to throw on my best 007 suit 

1:19 pm lil bun: :DD 

\----------------------------- 

*private chat- yeon,bin* 

2:33 pm bin: we're at the store, what kind if stove did you want 

2:33 pm yeon: as long as it can be baby-proofed it's good enough for me 

2:33 pm bin: in that case, I'll just get a glorified microwave 

2:34 pm yeon: you come home with a microwave and kai won't be the only baldy anymore 

2:34 pm bin: there is no need to shave your head yeonjun, although your scalp would probably thank you if you did 

2:34 pm yeon: >:0  
2:34 pm yeon: brat 

\--------------------------- 

*private chat- mr.jeon,lil bun* 

3:18 pm mr.jeon: hey binnie, where'd you go 

3:18 pm lil bun: i wish i knew 

3:18 pm mr.jeon: are you lost 

3:18 pm lil bun: what do you think 

3:18 pm mr.jeon: im thinking I'm gonna leave you and your attitude in this store :(

3:19 pm lil bun: nooo  
3:19 pm lil bun: im sorry  
3:19 pm lil bun: im in a maze I think 

3:20 pm mr.jeon: since when was there a maze in this store 

3:20 pm lil bun: i can see the sky 

3:20 pm mr.jeon: youre outside!??

3:20 pm lil bun: no but I'm next to a giant window 

3:20 pm mr.jeon: okay hold on  
3:20 pm mr.jeon: ill circle the store from outside, wave when you see me 

3:21 pm lil bun: yessir 

3:40 pm lil bun: jungkook hyung it's been twenty minutes  
3:40 pm lil bun: did you get hit by a car 

3:40 pm mr.jeon: uhh..  
3:40 pm mr.jeon: i got lost 

3:40 pm lil bun: im gonna text yoongi hyung 

3:41 pm mr.jeon: oh good, he won't scold us 

\--------------------------

*private chat- yeon bin*

3:41 pm bin: hyung jungkook and I are lost inside and outside of Sears  
3:41 pm bin: op wrong chat ignore that jun hyung 

3:41 pm yeon: YOU GUYS GOT LOST?  
3:41 pm yeon: I need a vacation 

\-------------------------- 

*private chat- yoongi- soobi* 

3:42 pm soobi: hyung, jungkook hyung and I are lost inside and outside of Sears 

3:42 pm yoongi: he said he was going to a wedding..  
3:42 pm yoongi: do i need to find you guys 

3:42 pm soobi: yes please  
3:42 pm soobi: before you do, can you buy a stove first and have it sent over to my dorm? 

3:42 pm yoongi: no

3:43 pm soobi: maybe i should have texted jimin hyung instead  
3:43 pm soobi: i bet he would've said yes 

3:43 pm yoongi: what kind of stove do you want 

\------------------------- 

*private chat- yeon,bin* 

6:22 pm yeon: a stove was just delivered  
6:22 pm yeon: im guessing you're free now 

6:22 pm bin: hyungs and I are in the middle of group therapy, text me in an hour please 

6:23 pm yeon: was buying a stove really that mentally draining?  
6:23 pm yeon: mmk then, self care is important  
6:23 pm yeon: feel better <33 

\------------------------- 

*private chat- jun,hyun* 

6:23 pm jun: we're going on a vacation next week, don't tell Beomgyu or kai

6:23 pm hyun: why

6:23 pm jun: they can't keep secrets, don't tell soobin either 

6:23 pm hyun: i know that, but why are we going on vacation all of a sudden

6:23 pm jun: we’ll all be bald from stress if we don’t take a break and go somewhere worry free

6:23 pm hyun: kai read over my shoulder  
6:23 pm hyun: he says he’s tired of you mentioning the word bald every chance you get and that you’re not far from it with that scalp

6:23 pm jun: like i said. stressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was no main txt groupchat here hehe sorry  
> the chapter felt a bit dry i think, but thank you for reading nonetheless  
> i am not the comedian i wish i was lol
> 
> hope this out a smile in your brain at least 
> 
> thank you for the kudos <3
> 
> thank you for being here and always reading  
> you're all extremely sweet <333


	14. Part one of the VacationTM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day one of their vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took long, but this style of writing isn't my strength so I struggle with it a lot more.  
> Thank you for your patience.   
> The vacation is going to be three days long, equaling three chapters.   
> So the next two updates are going to take a bit to be uploaded.

The boys finally had the chance to get out of the country, and due to the majority of votes going for Hawaii, all five found themselves in a parking lot just 300 feet away from the beach.

Most of the boys grabbed their duffles and ran out of the car.

Soobin seemed to be having trouble closing the trunk of the rental. While he struggled helplessly, his four other friends seemed clueless to his troubles.

"What are they doing..", Yeonjun said while staring confusingly at the three youngest boys.

Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Kai were all spinning in circles furiously. 

Kai seemed to be into the spinning the most as his face was very serious and very red. Although his face could also have been red because he refused to put on sunscreen.

Soobin, finally having shut the trunk after almost ripping his arms off, looked over to the younger boys. 

Any other day he might've been annoyed at them for playing instead of helping him. But seeing them be so serious over something like spinning, Soobin couldn't help but laugh. 

"Cute. But you guys can't afford to lose any more brain cells. The beach is waiting for us", Soobin said shaking his head softly and pointing towards the water.

Beomgyu stopped first,"I BET I CAN REACH THE WATER FIRST!" 

Beomgyu tried running towards the water, but all the spinning had made his balance non-existent, thus sending him face first into the sand. 

Taehyun, being the smartass he is, stopped spinning too and laughed at Beomgyu,"Aww Beomgyu, I can't believe you had your first kiss with the sand." 

Though he teased Beomgyu, Taehyun still helped him get up. Only to be pushed over by a Huening Kai. 

"Huening Jamal Kai, you giraffe!", Taehyun shouted, grabbing a handful of sand and running after the culprit.

With his signature Dolphin ScreamTM, Kai took off towards the water, hands flailing in the air.

Watching everything unfold, Yeonjun smiled fondly, grabbing Soobin's hand, together they walked out towards the water too. 

Having reached the spot where the maknaes threw their duffles, they spread out blankets and sat down. Rummaging through his own duffle, Soobin gasped happily.

"Hyung, could you inflate this?" asked Soobin smiling widely while he handed Yeonjun what was supposed to be a cute duck float, but because it had no air it looked like a melted monster duck. 

Yeonjun’s lips pouted outwards, resembling a duck himself, but took the float anyways. He opened the plug and started blowing in as hard and long as he could. While torturing his lungs, Yeonjun glanced over at his screaming children.   
They seemed to be trying to terrorize every other human being in the water. Swimming and popping out of the water and screeching on top of their lungs to any unsuspecting victims. 

Yeonjun tried laughing, but since he was out of air he ended up wheezing like a squeaky toy. Soobin on the other hand was howling and choking with laughter. Of course he happiness left his face when he started having a ridiculously loud coughing fit. 

“You guys brought a floatie?!” Kai screamed excitedly, seeing his hyungs walk over with a float, he tried rushing towards them, forgetting that it’s nearly impossible to run in water, especially being waist-deep in. 

Taehyun looked at Kai and laughed,”You look like you’re filming a slow motion life and death commercial.” 

Beomgyu, hearing Tae say that, began to fake being dragged into the water while dramatically screaming,”Go Kai, save yourself! Remember meee~~”. He let himself be submerged in water to float back up acting dead. 

“I am king of the ducks! Bow before me!” Soobin declared while climbing on the float. 

Wrong words to say to a bunch of narcissists. 

The four other boys froze and turned to look at Soobin. 

Soobin felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He saw their faces change as they all screamed. 

“DOWN WITH THE KING”

“THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE”

“YOUR CROWN IS MINE”

“BRRRAAAHLSLALSFJSKJSJLS”

All four boys rushed over to Soobin, wanting to shove him off and take over the duck throne.

“It’s my right to be king! These lips scream duck!” Yeonjun was the first to reach Soobin, but Soobin was able to push him away.

“I am one with the ducks. I am the King!” Beomgyu was able to pull himself onto the float next to Soobin, but before he could try anything, the float was turned upside down. Throwing both him and Soobin into the water. 

“BAHHAHAHAA LONG LIVE THE KINGS BROTHERS” cackled a very hysterical looking Kai.

The boys spent the rest of the day playing in the water, having fun, nearly drowning a couple of times. But overall they had a good day. 

Around eight pm, the boys had packed their things, showered, and were finally ready to head to their hotel. 

“I’m tired, you drive”

“No you”

“No you” 

“Neither of you have licenses, none of you are driving.” Yeonjun said amused while getting into the driver’s seat. In the rear view mirror he could see the pouty faces of Taehyun and Kai who were offended at being called out. He shook his head smiling softly and drove off towards their hotel. 

Finally arriving into their one booked room, at the request of a certain Huening Kai.  
The boys jumped onto the two beds, simultaneously sighing happily at the feeling of a nice soft bed. Swimming and playing in the water for hours had made them feel very tired. 

“I still can’t understand why we could all get our own beds’, complained Taehyun, even if he secretly was thankful for not being alone.

“We’re in a foreign country, I am absolutely beautiful and could be kidnapped if i were to be left alone”, stated a very happy Kai. He had taken hostage his Yeonjun hyung, the two were cuddling on one of the bed’s while Yeonjun surfed through the t.v channels.

“If anyone were to be kidnapped it’d obviously be me”, stated a totally not-jealous Beomgyu. Deciding he had a right to cuddle too, he grabbed Soobin and pulled him onto the other bed. Soobin patted Beomgyu’s head and motioned Taehyun to join them.

“God you guys are so clingy”, Taehyun said while climbing onto the bed with Beomgyu and Soobin.

“Oh you think so?Then just go sleep on the couch”, Soobin joked.

“No”, Taehyun quickly wiggled in between his hyungs and held onto Beomgyu.

Having failed in finding something to watch on t.v, Yeonjun pulled away from a sleeping Kai to turn off the lights. 

Not thirty minutes later, all five boys gave in to their tiredness and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? I know this is a texting au, but i wanted to write their vacation out. It's still a crack au, so there is no plot. It's just them being a happy mess :DD
> 
> Please tell me what you thought or liked.
> 
> Thank you for your kudos and support babies <333


	15. Dory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water adventures.  
> A short insight on TXT scuba diving.  
> Imagine extra scenes if you'd like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot more planned for this chapter, but this style of writing makes it hard for me to write out funny scenes im sorry  
> Bunch of scenes weren't included so I apologize, hopefully your imagination can help   
> I apologize for any spelling errors, non of this is proof read-

“I don’t know hyung, what if a shark decides it can’t resist me.” 

“Soobin hyung don’t say it like that, you made it sound like a shark might wanna make you his bride.” Taehyun gagged, “Sharks have taste hyung, if anything they’d take Kai.”

“I am very irresistible.” Kai nodded thoughtfully.

Yeonjun sighed exasperatedly,”You’ll be fine Soobin, trainers are gonna dive with us.” Puffing up his chest and placing his hands on his hips,”Hyung will be there, I’d punch all the sharks for you.” 

Taehyun and Beomgyu gagged. Kai on the other hand looked offended.

“Jun hyung, you can’t go around attacking sharks, what if you confuse a dolphin for a shark? I’ll be disowned! Stripped of my secret powers!” Kai pouted and roughly put on his water mask.

Ignoring his dongsaeng, Yeonjun grabbed Soobin’s water mask, and looked over to Soobin. Making grabbing hands towards the scared looking boy. “Here, I’ll put it on okay? Let me know if it’s too tight.”

Soobin nodded hesitantly, lowering his head for Yeonjun’s shortass. Beomgyu seemed to be absolutely terrified and excited. His body shook in fear but his face had a big smile. If a stranger looked at him, he’d think the boy was constipated. 

"Alright boys, you seem to be well geared, we'll be diving near those huge rocks over there.", One of their trainers said smiling, "Come on this way, be careful when getting into the boat."   
The other trainers went to help the boys climb into the boat safely. 

Having climbed in first, Beomgyu walked up to a couple trainers."If I find a fish I like can I keep it?" Beomgyu asked one of the trainers with a hopeful expression. Putting his hands on his cheeks to emphasize his charm.

Too focused on making a cute convincing face, Beomgyu failed to notice a certain unamused leader. Soobin pulled Beomgyu away from the trainer, bowing twice in apology. 

"Ah, don't mind him, I'll make sure he doesn't try to kidnap any fish." Soobin laughed awkwardly. 

Soobin lead Beomgyu over to where Yeonjun was sitting. Sitting next to the others, Soobin stretched out his arms and let his body relax.

As the small boat took off towards their destination, Taehyun and Kai let their arms run through the water. Occasionally splashing water on eachother giggling like a couple of second graders. 

Yeonjun let himself take in the scenery, breathing in and out calmly. He liked this, this feeling of being able to relax comfortably and not worry about when their next schedule would randomly spring up on them. It had been awhile he and the boys had genuine time to themselves. 

Of course complete serenity could not exist being the eldest. Yeonjun glanced over at the youngest two, they had suddenly become very quiet. The poor boy had turned just in time to receive two handfuls of water launched onto his face. 

Shaking his head and spitting out some water from his mouth, Yeonjun raised an eyebrow at the boys. The competitiveness in him awoke, smiling deviously Yeonjun leaned over the boat and slushed up as much water as he could towards Taehyun and Kai.   
The screams of the two attracted the attention of Beomgyu and Soobin. Seeing the commotion, the two boys didn’t resist joining into the water fight. This went on until the boat had reached the huge rocks. 

“All right boys, be careful when entering the water. Go in slowly to not startle the fish away.” One of the trainers said in a low tone,”Do your best not to panic if you feel scared, panicking too much could lead to wasting too much air from your tanks.” 

“Why would we need to panic, are we going to be in danger?” Beomgyu asked, trying not to seem scared. 

The trainer shook his head,”The majority of the fish we’ll encounter in this area are not aggressive, but never forget that they ARE wild. Sharks are also very real so do not forget to keep your eyes peeled. We will also be on the lookout.”

Another trainer spoke up,”In the event that you happen to see a shark, do not thrash around in the water, that’ll grab their interest very fast. Simply notify us about the shark and we’ll be the ones to take action.”

One of the trainers that was getting ready to jump into the water called out,”Don’t forget to treat the animals with respect, they are also living creatures.”

All five boys nodded respectively, lining up behind the first diver. One by one they all jumped into the water.

Huening Kai spoke into the intercom excitedly,”Look! Look!” The happy boy lifted up his hands to reveal a small bright orange starfish. 

Beomgyu was the first to swim towards Kai,”That’s so cool! Where’d you find it?”   
Not bothering to wait for an answer, Beomgyu hurriedly swam closer to the bottom of the water, lifting small rocks and checking for any small animals.

“It was more to your left gyu hyung.” Kai advised Beomgyu, he could tell his hyung was pouting behind his mask. 

Yeonjun and Taehyun made their way over to see the small starfish Kai had found. Hyunnie motions Kai to hand over the starfish. Kai nods happily and hands the creature to Taehyun. Who then turns to Yeonjun,”Hey hyung, I’ll pay for dinner if you remove your mask and kiss the starfish, I brought my waterproof camera with me just for a moment like this.”

Taehyun smiles innocently while holding up his camera. A bit startled at the request, Yeonjun shrugs and goes to remove his mask. Only to be stopped by a highly concerned Soobin.

“No no hyung. We don’t do that okay? Leave the stupid stuff for places where you can’t drown.” Soobin says using a tone that would usually be for a mischievous toddler.   
Soobin grabs Yeonjun’s hands and gently guides him closer to the trainers. Probably so they could stop Yeonjun from giving in into the gremlins’ ideas.

“Ah Bin, I would’ve been fine. I’m basically Aquaman don’t you know.”

Soobin gives him an unimpressed face and goes back to looking around. 

“Hey Hyun, look it’s you!” Beomgyu calls out as he points to a small red fish. The little fish is currently involved in a “game” of chase. In other words, the little red devil is terrorizing a smaller blue fish.

Taehyun looks over and smiles, probably proudly, but it’s hard to tell because of his mask.   
“Good to know all Taehyun’s in any shape or life, live up well to my name.”

Hyun looks around to show Kai the cute fish, but soon finds Kai is not around. “Hey Beomie, where’s kai?” Taehyun speaks low, hoping the intercoms don’t reveal the potentially missing kai to his easily worried hyungs.

Beomgyu perks up, quickly swimming around to see if he can spot Hyuka. 

“I don’t see him. Maybe he went back on the boat?”, he says this, yet Beomgyu has the sensation Kai might not be on the boat either.

“Who don’t you see?”, one of the trainers pops up behind Beomgyu. “Is someone missing?”

Of course that question attracts the attention of Soobin and Yeonjun who waste no time shaking the life out of Beomgyu frantically asking the poor boy where their sweet baby kai is.

“Wait a minute you guys please, Beomgyu’s tank could disconnect if you keep that up”, Taehyun pulls Beomgyu away from his hyungs,”Kai can’t be far, one of you should go around on the boat, maybe he hit his head on a rock and is floating off somewhere.”

Yikes. That did not sit well with Yeonjun. He swam to the boat, climbed in and ordered the driver to quickly make some rounds around the big rocks.

The other three boys split and each had a trainer accompany them on their search for Kai.

Ten minutes into the search, Yeonjun began hearing a distorted voice coming from his intercom. The voice became clearer as the boat continued going further around the huge rocks. 

“Hell--o nGg pp-- ME”

“Hello--?”

“Hyung is that you?”

“Kai?KAI! Where are you?”

“I can see you, I’m waving, can you see me?”

Sure enough, after going all the way around the rocks, Yeonjun could see Kai waving rapidly.   
Too ecstatic and relieved, Yeonjun didn’t bother to tell the driver to stop the boat, he simply dived back into the water and swam towards Kai.

“If i weren’t so happy to see you, I would have screamed at you.” Yeonjun told Huening as he pulled the younger into a tight hug. “What are you even doing all the way over here?”

“I was following a fish that looked a lot like Dory, but i swam too far and then I was too tired to swim back. So I decided to float for a while, but I ended up being pulled by the water all the way over here. The intercom wasn’t working, so I was resting some more to get ready to swim back.” Kai stated tiredly.

Yeonjun nodded, not wanting to have the others wait any longer and pulled Kai with him towards the boat.

Finally making it back, the other boys cheered at the sight of Yeonjun returning with hyuka.

"Kai Kamal Huening! I'm gonna drown you!", screamed a happy Taehyun,”You bastard child I LOVE YOU!” 

Taehyun continued swinging his arms around happily laughing. Soobin’s color returned to his face at last, he raised an arm to wave too, smacking Beomgyu in the process. No pain could ruin Beomgyu’s mood at seeing Kai come back safely.

“I’m getting some mixed signals hyun, are you gonna hug me or slap me when you get on the boat?”, joked Kai.

“I haven’t decided”, said Taehyun, but the big smile on his face gave away the answer.

Once the boat stopped to let the boys and the other trainers back on the boat. Soobin asked for them to be taken back to land.

“Yeah that’s enough ocean for the next 5 years.”

“I didn’t get a fish”

“The fish are happier here then in a small tank, gyu”

“I actually read about a tropical rain-forest we can explore, it’s the Kohala Forest reserve.”

“I was born there, can’t wait to show you guys the first rock ever to be blessed by Huening Kamal Kai.”

“Weren’t you born in Honolulu?”

“You weren’t there, you can’t say sh-”

“KAI”

“Sorry”

“You can’t hang around Yeonjun hyung when he plays video games anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's one more little adventure in hawaii left and then we'll be back to regular crack head texts between the boys.
> 
> thank you for reading <3  
> stay safe, wear your masks, and for god's sake do not vote for Kanye  
> also thank you for the kudos <3


	16. sorry

HI GUYS  
first of all I'm sorry

I haven't updated in a while  
I've been extremely busy surprisingly

I will finish this fic, but for now it'll be on hold,  
I've got some of the next chapter done, but it's hard to find time to sit and write I'm sorry :(

I might just wait until I've finished my class  
which should be in two weeks or earlier depending on how much i cram

anyway sorry and thank you

please ignore the bottom note 

I have no idea how to switch that off 

it's bothered me since I started this lmao


	17. Day 3 of vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last day written out!  
> Light angst towards the end but not really.  
> I love Huening Kai <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back!! I finished my business class at last! I'll have time to finish this crack au now!  
> As i haven't written for a while, I'm a bit rusty so forgive my spelling and grammatical errors.

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we-”

“Do not start with me, Choi Beomgyu, or I’ll launch you out of the car”

“Calm down Soobin hyung, Beomgyu’s just excited to be eaten by the wild animals in the Kohala Forest”

“Ah yes, the best way to spend a vacation. Walking into the homes of wild animals to drape our beautiful bodies on their kitchen tables and be their dinner.”

“It was your idea to come here Jun hyung.”

“Wild animals don’t even have kitchen tables Yeonjun hyung, nor kitchens for that matter.”

“Taehyun, not everyone can afford the life of luxury. It’s not their fault they’re poor.”

“That’s not even- You know what? Fine fine you win. I won’t discriminate the animals for not having human utensils any longer.”

“Good boy, we don’t tolerate discrimination in this house.”

Finally pulling into the parking lot in front of the directionary office, Soobin sighed with relief. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his boys, but one could only tolerate four loud extroverts for so long. Everyone was buzzing with excitement, Beomgyu in particular. Gyu had some soon to not be secret plans.

“Soobinnie hyung~ Could we vlog this part of our trip? I know Moas are gonna want to see us in our happy states.”, Beomgyu pulled out a camera from his backpack and waved it in the air. 

“That’s- actually a good idea”, Soobin ruffled Beomgyu’s hair and walked towards the directionary office. The boys had decided to rent a golf cart to ride in while they explored the forest. Neither boy wanted to risk snake bites or creepy crawlers climbing on them.

After a long lecture on safe driving from the head office, the boys went around behind the office to take their golf cart.

“Heol~ I can’t wait!”, Huening quickly ran to take the seat next to the driver’s. 

Once the boys had all sat and started making their way into the forest Beomgyu pulled out his camera. Fixing his hair and announcing he was going to start filming. 

“One.. Two… THREE! Hello Moa babies!!! Hehe” He shook his head cutely for the camera,”Can you guys guess where we are!” He made a thinking pose and pointed his camera towards the scenery. “I bet you guys don’t know what forest this is~~”

“Don’t offend Moas Beomgyu, I’m sure they know exactly what forest that rock belongs to. They all major in geography after all,” Taehyun deadpans while pointing to a random rock.

Pouting, Beomgyu pans the camera over to Taehyun,”Look Moas, it’s your favourite squirrel! He’s very happy to be in his natural habitat.” Blowing a kiss to Taehyun, Beomgyu turns to show the other members. “Hyungie-nims say hello to the desperate Moas, they thrive off our beautiful natural glow~ Oh! I forgot Moas haven't seen Soobin driving before hehehe, doesn’t hyungnim look so dashing, controlling the steering wheel like that?!”

Soobin covers his mouth with one hand feeling bashful,"Mmmm heh, I know I know,” he waves off the camera,”I know I’m stunning.” Soobin tries to wink at the camera but Beomgyu turns away fast and films Yeonjun instead,"Right.. And here we have Yeonjunie!! Say hello hyung!”

Yeonjun waves and kisses the camera,"My Moa babies~~ How are you? I’ve missed you all hehehe.”   
Yeonjun unsuccessfully winks at the camera and squishes his cheeks. 

"Ahhh my poor hyungs, they're all doing their best to look good. Ugly fools- OWW", Beomgyu rubs his arm where he had been smacked by both Yeonjun and Soobin,"Okay they aren't ugly, I'm sure I don't need to tell you guys that huh Moas? You probably have their faces as your lock screen." 

While Beomgyu continues to talk nonsense to the camera, Kai takes it upon himself and excitedly calls out to any animal he sees. 

"That's my childhood friend Frogerina!" 

"That damn snake, I remember you! He strangled me once in my sleep, I know it!" 

"BALDNESS UPON YOU, EGG STEALER!"

"Kai please…" 

"Quiet hyung, can't you see I'm cursing my enemies" 

"Actually, Soobin hyung let's stop here a bit. We should explore by foot a little don't you think?"

"Alright Kai, but the minute you engage in a boxing fight with any creature-" 

"I won't!" 

"Oh! MOAs it looks like we're making a stop!!", Beomgyu jumps around in his seat a bit before handing his camera over to Taehyun,"Film for a while please!~." 

Soobin stops the golf cart, feeling dread pool in his stomach as the boys run out of the cart. Rubbing between his eyes, he takes a deep breath and tries to be optimistic. Trailing after his boys, he sees everyone smiling and excitedly poking trees or lifting rocks. 

He's not sure, but almost certain he saw Taehyun launch a rock towards Kai. 

Yeonjun and Kai become engaged in an intense match of who can mimic bird singing the best. 

Beomgyu drapes himself across a big rock as Taehyun films him. 

"Look Moas, Beomgyu is offering his body as a sacrifice to the Rain God. He'll be struck by lightning any minute now." 

"Liar!" Beomgyu sticks out his tongue, but scurries off the rock anyway.

Soobin walks over to the struggling Yeonjun, who seems to be trying to push Hueningkai onto a tree. 

"What're you guys doing?" 

"Kai wants to channel his inner Tarzan, but he can't climb for shit."

"HEY", Taehyun yells,"Now I'm gonna have to edit the vlog." 

"I can climb! Yeonjun hyung just won't let me take off my shoes. Soobin hyung i can take off my shoes right?" 

"Yah you brat! I already said no, why are you asking him!?" 

"Cause you're not the boss of him, and he's the leader so he gets to say!" 

Yeonjun and Kai both stare intently at Soobin. 

"Well umm.. You're feet could get cut so- no you can't." 

Kai whines and kicks at the grass, giving up on his Tarzan dream he runs off to play with TaeGyu. 

"Gyu, all I'm saying is, Moas don't need to know where you are gonna pee, I am not oppressing you." 

Taehyun sighs and rubs his forehead. Engaging in arguments with Beomgyu meant mindless points were going to be made, and yet he'd have a big chance of losing against him either way. 

"If they don't know which tree it'll be, how will they make it a monument!?" 

"That's not how it works-OOMPH"

Taehyun tries not to fall face first into the ground as Kai clings to his back in a koala like manner. Beomgyu quickly takes his camera from Taehyun to fill the interaction.

"Moas come collect your Tyunning crumbs, eight dollars per second of Tyunning screen time!" 

"Beomgyu hyung so smart!", Kai blows a kiss to Beomgyu as Taehyun tries to wrestle him off his back. 

"Ahh Beomgyu, extorting people again? Tsk Tsk, and here I thought you wanted to film because you loved Moas!" Yeonjun shakes his head playfully at Beomgyu as he and Soobin walk over. 

Soobin pries Kai off of Taehyun, who silently thanks god. Soobin pats Kai's head and shoves him aside to get in front of the camera. 

(Slight death mention coming up, not bad but here's a warning anyway)

While everyone except Kai is busy engaging with Moas through the camera, Kai goes off to follow tiny foot prints he had spotted after jumping on Taehyun's back. 

Unfortunately for Kai, he found the cruel reminder that he was in fact in the middle of a forest filled with wild life. The tiny foot prints had left him to the body of a dead fox. Shocked with his discovery, Kai remains frozen for a couple of seconds before letting out an ear piercing wail. He cries louder and louder while backing away from the animal. 

"Did.. did you guys hear that?" Beomgyu puts down his camera, nervously looking around.

"That sounded an awful lot like Kai-" Soobin searches for Kai around them. "DAMMIT" 

Taehyun grabs his hyung before he runs off into possibly unknown danger,"We can hear him, he might've encountered a snake, if you rush there you could be hurt."

Soobin tries to stabilize himself, Beomgyu silently turns off his camera, and Yeonjun calls out to Kai.

"Kai, where are you buddy? Are you okay?" 

"Kai??" 

Both Taehyun and Yeonjun set off first towards the sounds of a crying Kai.   
As the younger boy hadn't walked far, they soon found him sitting with his back towards a rock, hugging his knees and crying his heart out. 

Rushing to his side, Taehyun hugs his friend and whispers kind words of reassurance to him. 

Yeonjun on the other hand, finds what has upset Hueningkai. He sees the fox and feels his heart ache. It's no wonder the poor boy screamed distraught. The poor animal had his body shredded. 

Soobin and Beomgyu arrive, cautiously approaching Kai. 

Taehyun looks over to his hyungs after successfully having a conversation with Kai, who is now in a much calmer state. 

"He's very sad, but he says he would feel better if we held a funeral for the fox." 

The boys nod, having seen the fox themselves, they sympathise with the younger boy. 

Beomgyu hands his camera over to Taehyun and walks over to Yeonjun so the two can begin digging a hole in the ground. 

Soobin sits down next to Huening and pulls him onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around his dongsaeng in a comforting manner. Taehyun pats Kai's head and goes off to look for things to decorate the grave of the fox. 

"Kai, buddy, I know he looks like he suffered a lot. But he isn't anymore, and I'm sure he appreciated your emotions. I'm certain he is looking down at you with kind eyes from his heaven self." 

Kai simply nods into his hyung's chest. 

Having dug a hole seemingly big enough, Beomgyu and Yeonjun contemplate how they'd move the animal in. Touching dead animals was dangerous as they could have various diseases. 

Taehyun returned with many flowers wrapped in leaves. Seeing his hyungs hadn't placed the fox in the hole yet, he simply nudges it in with the flowers. 

After the funeral had finished, with some very heart filled words on Huening Kai's behalf. The boys make their way back to the cart. 

"Kai, if you're still up for it, there's still an awful lot of daylight? You could still have time to show us your birthplace?" Yeonjun speaks softly towards Kai after they had all settled in. 

These seem to be the right words as Kai begins to smile and nod shyly. 

The other three boys let out a breath they hadn't known they were holding. Soobin turns the cart on, smiling with relief, and takes the boys into another part of the forest.

After finally exploring until satisfaction. The boys make their way back to their hotel. 

Thankfully, they didn't have any more incidents like the fox incident. The rest of their time went on in a happier state. 

Everyone washed up and got ready for bed. While their bodies felt dead tired from their trip, neither of the boys could fall asleep. 

Finally being fed up, Soobin left his bed. Walking over to his suitcase, he took out a small speaker. Putting a song on he went back to bed and let the song lull the boys to sleep. 

~~  
Remember us here?  
We were stars that day  
A little song left on this island  
Don't forget, forever  
This place is our start line  
Our start line  
The starlight of the day we saw together  
Don't forget that night  
You can't forget this place  
Someone called my name (Mm-mm)  
That cat with the different eyes (Mm-mm)  
I'm tired of those eyes, still (Mm-mm)  
But you can't fall asleep, you can't fall (Mm-mm)  
Don't forget this place, start line  
Our start line  
The starlight of the day we saw together  
Don't forget that night  
You can't forget this place  
~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?   
> The lyric piece belongs to TXT's song Magic Island~~   
> Thank you for waiting for me and reading! <3  
> The next chapter we'll be back to the texting format!
> 
> I love you all, thank you for the kudos loves <3


	18. ice cream you scream we want ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> txt is back to being a happy mess along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have gotten used to not updating because of my class, but now that my class is over i am having trouble getting back into the habit of updating  
> my sincerest apologies
> 
> i also finally figured out how to make the time stamps bold lmaooo

**-User Soobin has created new chat-**

**-Soobin has changed chat name to uglie people and hyuka <3-**

**-Users Yeonjun, Huening Kai, Taehyun, and Beomgyu have been added to chat-**

**-Soobin has changed his name to JackFrost-**

**10:15 am JackFrost:** new chat 

**-Huening Kai has changed his name to Not dead scalp-**

**10:15 am Not dead scalp:** i agree with the chat name.

**10:15 am Not dead scalp:** anyways Taehyuni and I are going out for ice cream, you guys want something 

**10:16 am JackFrost:** YES

**10:16 am JackFrost:** strawberry and coconut! if they have mango, I want some of that too please </3

**-Taehyun has changed his name to Honeybee-**

**10:17 am Honeybee:** i was not aware we were going out but okay 

**10:17 am JackFrost:** go get some sunshine 

**10:17 am JackFrost:** and my ice cream 

**-Beomgyu has changed his name to MissingCBG-**

**10:18 am MissingCBG:** i dont want any thanks 

**10:18 am MissingCBG:** also why am I not invited 

**10:18 am Honeybee:** you just said you don't want ice cream

**10:18 am Honeybee:** we're bringing you chocolate/vanilla ice cream sandwich 

**10:19 am Not dead scalp:** he said he did want any tho?? 

**10:19 am Honeybee:** he'll change his mind once he sees us enjoying ours 

**10:19 am Honeybee:** and I doubt Soobin would share with him 

**10:20 am JackFrost:** wait what 

**10:20 am JackFrost:** why would I be the one sharing, shouldn't you be sharing with him 

**10:20 am JackFrost:** he's your bf after all 

**10:20 am MissingCBG:** wow hyung, so that means you really wouldn't share with me ;; fking bully 

**10:21 am Not dead scalp:** Soobin hyung writing paragraphs when it comes to his food rights lmaoo 

**10:21 am Not dead scalp:** also where's yeonjun hyung 

**10:21 am Honeybee:** I got this guys, watch and learn 

**10:21 am Honeybee:** Yeonjun really looks like the rooster from Chicken Run when he poses in photo shoots 

**-Yeonjun had changed his name to 4thGenITboy-**

**10:21 am 4thGenITboy:** I make it work shut up 

**10:21 am 4thGenITboy:** And that guy was cool don't hate on him 

  
  


**10:22 am MissingCBG:** he really came that fast- 

**10:22 am 4thGenITboy:** my -idiots talking bad about me behind my back- senses were tingling 

**10:22 am Honeybee:** hyung that Rooster worked in a circus 

**10:23 am Not dead scalp:** does that mean Yeonjun hyung also works in a circus lmao 

**10:23 am Not dead scalp:** Yeonjun clown confirmed

  
  


**10:23 am 4thGenITboy:** …. 

**10:23 am 4thGenITboy:** the five of us have the same fuvking jobs 

**10:24 am MissingCBG:** dammit Kai, you made us all clowns now 

**10:24 am JackFrost:** I said nothing and yet i am attacked 

  
  


**10:24 am 4thGenITboy:** Why was I summoned anyway 

**10:24 am Not dead scalp:** we wanted to know what kind of ice cream you wanted :D 

**10:24 am JackFrost:** i want two ice creams, as the leader of clowns I deserve it for putting up with all your guys' crap 

**10:25 am Honeybee:** excuses excuses, just say you wanted more and leave it at that 

**10:25 am JackFrost:** fight me clown 

**10:25 am 4thGenITboy:** bring me some mint chocolate please <333

**10:25 am Honeybee:** we will but keep those hearts to yourself

**10:25 am 4thGenITboy:** quiet, those are for hyuka <3333

  
**10:26 am Not dead scalp:** hyungie :D <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keeping the chapters short  
> crackheadedness levels will increase once more dont you worry 
> 
> I appreciate you guys reading <3333


	19. Weewoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just crack
> 
> Jackfrost= soobin   
> Tall boy rights= soobin 
> 
> 4thGenITboy= yeonjun 
> 
> Honeybee= taehyun   
> Missing cbg= beomgyu   
> Best hyung= beomgyu 
> 
> Not dead scalp = hueningkai  
> Ningning=hueningkai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I've been updating my other au on Twitter and working a lot.  
> Enjoy the chapter! <3

**Uglie people and hyuka <3**

  
  
  


**2:13 pm 4thGenITboy:** i am stuck in a boring company meeting. and none of you are here to suffer with me 

**\- Not dead scalp changed his name to Ningning-**

**2:14 pm Ningning:** sucks to be you 

**2:14 pm Ningning:** but on the bright side 

**2:14 pm Ningning:** I got a job! :D 

**2:14 pm Honeybee:** kai wtf ?? you already have a job??

**2:14 pm 4thGenITboy:** how does that bright side help me?? 

**-JackFrost changed his name to Tall boy rights-**

**2:14 pm Tall boy rights:** is your new job with a mafia boss because if so 

**2:14 pm Tall boy rights:** i want a PlayStation 5 

**2:15 pm Honeybee:** you're our leader, how are you not concerned 

**2:15 pm Tall boy rights:** i don't have to be 

**2:15 pm Honeybee:** YES?? YOU DO??

**2:15 pm Tall boy rights:** nope, bcuz I have tall boy rights 😎 

**2:15 pm Tall boy rights:** not that you would know what that's like 

**2:15 pm Honeybee:** WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE 

**2:16 pm 4thGenITboy:** Soooo… is no one gonna help me break out of this boringass meeting?

**2:16 pm Ningning:** only if you ask what my new job is :3 

**2:16 pm 4thGenITboy:** anyone else,,

**2:16 pm Ningning:** all of you suck, best friends cards revoked 

**-MissingCBG changed his name to best hyung-**

**2:17 pm best hyung:** you can tell me all about your new job once I drag Yeonjun hyung out of his meeting <33 

**2:17 pm Ningning:** beomgyu hyung have I told you I love you yet because I love you

**2:18 pm Honeybee:** beomgyu coming out to soothe a pouty Kai, adorable 

  
  


**2:18 pm Tall boy rights:** taehyun 

**2:18 pm Tall boy rights:** where are my sweet ropes 

**2:18 pm Honeybee:** op sorry gotta go bathe my fish 

**2:18 pm Tall boy rights:** TAEHYUN SJKSHSKS MY SWWRRT ROPES I'M GONNA K-WORD YOU 

  
  


**\------------**

**4:56 pm best hyung:** did you guys know Huening Kai's an animal whisperer 

**4:56 pm 4thGenITboy:** proof? 

**4:56 pm Honeybee:** oh yeah definitely, last year he was being verbally harassed by a hot dog vendor and all it took was an ear piercing sonic screech for every bird in the area to attack the hot dog vendor. 

**4:56 pm Honeybee:** so either he's a animal whisperer or just God's favourite 

**4:57 pm Tall boy rights:** he's definitely God's favourite 

**4:57 pm Tall boy rights:** hey wait,,,didn't that day make national news 

**4:57 pm best hyung:** we're getting off topic sjsksjsksn 

**4:58 pm best hyung:** i brought this up cause kai's new job has him babysitting animals and well,, 

**4:58 pm best hyung:** they all listen to him so well???? 

**4:58 pm 4thGenITboy:** so? that just means they're properly trained

**4:59 pm best hyung:** no I mean like 

**4:59 pm best hyung:** he asked a dog to turn on the tv and the dog did it?? and then he asked a bird to poop in the sink so he wouldn't have to clean the rugs and the bird listened???? 

**4:59 pm best hyung:** omg wait,, what if he's a witch and not a siren like we thought 

**4:59 pm Tall boy rights:** i can assure you no one thought that 

**5:00 pm Honeybee:** i don't usually like encouraging Beomgyu's weird theories but . 

**5:00 pm Honeybee:** it seems to make sense 

**5:00 pm Honeybee:** on god I swear I'm losing brain cells to be agreeing with him 

**5:00 pm** **best hyung:** wow okay love you too I guess 💔💔💔 

**5:01 pm Ningning:** y'all know I'm still in this chat right?

**5:01 pm Ningning:** and while I'm flattered beomgyu hyung 

**5:01 pm** **Ningning:** i never even had a witch phase, only phase I ever had was my emo phase that lasted 2 hours 

**5:01 pm 4thGenITboy:** suddenly I'm very interested in this conversation 

**5:02 pm 4thGenITboy:** you wouldn't happen to have any pictures of your phase would you? 

**5:02 pm Ningning:** burned. All of them. No evidence left. 

**5:08 pm 4thGenITboy:** your sister says otherwise ;)

**5:09 pm Ningning:** SHE HAS NOTHING IT'S ALL A LIE 

**5:10 pm best hyung:** yeonjun hyung drop the pics 

**5:10 pm Ningning:** beomgyu hyung traitor >:0


	20. Taegyu fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A taegyu short 
> 
> Next chapter will be a yeonbin short 
> 
> And the chapter after that, a huening kai special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here babes  
> Here with some Taegyu fluff and very little angst

***private chat- beomgyu, taehyun***

**9:34 am beomgyu:** hyuni 

**9:34 am beomgyu:** are you busy 

**9:34 am taehyun:** morning and no? 

**9:34 am taehyun:** wait where are you 

**9:34 am beomgyu:** im setting up a surprise for hyuka! I need you to distract him all day, stay away from the han river!

**9:35 am taehyun:** oh for hyuka huh 

**9:35 am taehyun:** I got it, he wont know a thing, let me know when to bring him over 

  
  


**\------------**

***private chat beomie hyung, ningning***

**9:37 am beomie hyung:** he bought it! I need at least 5 hours, stall him as much as you can!! 

**9:37 am ningning:** paypal me money please >3< i want to get breakfast with him 

**9:37 am beomie hyung:** is 800 usd enough? 

**9:38 am ningning:** why dont you just buy him a house too 

**9:38 am beomie hyung:** quiet, and no McDonalds! Yeonjun hyung will kill me if he knows I let the youngest eat an unhealthy breakfast 

**9:38 am ningning:** 💔

**\------------**

***private chat-beom, yeon, soob***

**12:40 pm yeon:** we've been at this for 3 hours without breakfast I'm gonna pass out 

**12:40 pm soob:** hyung.. you spent the majority of the time laying on the grass 

**12:40 pm beom:** oh! I was so nervous I forgot we have stomachs sorry hyungs </3 

**12:41 pm beom:** let's take a break, lunch is on me! 

**\---------**

***private chat- beomie hyung, ningning***

**1:10 pm ningning:** HYUNG, TAEHYUN RAN OFF HSKSHSK 

**1:10 pm ningning:** HE'S GONNA GO TALK TO YOU AT THE HAN RIVER 

**1:11 pm ningning:** HE STILL DOESNT KNOW ITS FOR HIM 

**1:11 pm ningning:** HYUNG HELLO 

**\------------**

***private chat- taehyun, beomgyu***

**1:15 pm taehyun:** after bawling out my eyes in public for 3 minutes, I have come to the conclusion that you lied to me 

**1:15 pm beomgyu:** aww hyun it was supposed to be a nice surprise 

**1:15 pm taehyun:** nice? NICE? 

**1:15 pm taehyun:** you asked me to distract kai so you could plan a confession by the han river even tho we're dating?? And that's NICE???? 

**1:15 pm beomgyu:** oh goodness and here I thought you were the one with the brain cells 

**1:15 pm taehyun:** clearly not! I couldn't even see you falling in love with someone else right in front of me.. why are you so cruel. Couldn't you have at least told me when you stopped liking me 

**1:15 pm beomgyu** : idiot, the biggest idiot of all 

**1:16 pm taehyun:** …why are you still insulting me, wasn't you're surprise enough 

**1:16 pm beomgyu:** kang taehyun you're blind and dumb. Kai was distracting YOU. I was setting up a cute date for our 8 month anniversary. 

**1:16 pm beomgyu:** im glad you said you couldn't see me falling in love with someone else. Because that means I hadn't made you feel insecure, well up to now at least. 

**1:16 pm beomgyu:** i do want to know why you jumped to such a drastic conclusion tho 

**1:17 pm taehyun:** i feel so embarrassed. And I'm crying again. Please come back to the river 

**1:17 pm beomgyu:** ah my soft baby, I'm bringing over chicken nuggets okay? 

**1:17 pm taehyun:** okay thank u <3

**1:18 pm taehyun:** kai just got here and saw your message, he wants chicken nuggets too 

**1:18 pm beomgyu:** omw love <33

**\---------**

***private chat- hyuka, hyun***

**4:34 pm hyun:** thank you for being my best friend 

**4:34 pm hyuka:** wuv u, and thank u for not killing me when u thought I was taking beom hyung 🤡🤡🤡🤡

**4:34 pm hyun:** I- shut up 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was told there needed more ship centered chapters


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crackhead TXT at its finest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of this is a joke, please dont take any of this seriously 
> 
> Dont forget to stream and collect votes MOAs!!we got a comeback on the 26th of October!!! ♡♡

**Uglie people and hyuka**

***Tallboyrights changed his name to Sooberry***

**7:53 am Sooberry:** good morning hueningkai and others 

**7:53 am Sooberry:** I bring good news 

***4thGenITboy changed his name to Yeonbow***

**7:54 am Yeonbow:** your favoritism is showing 

***best hyung changed his name to BeomBeom***

**7:54 am BeomBeom:** being the cutest bonbon out here I demand to be promoted to a hueningkai 

**7:55 am Ningning:** got the people pressed cause they ain't me 😏💅

**7:55 am Honeybee:** if yall dont stop blowing up my phone and let Soobin share the news I'm finna beat all yalls asses

**7:55 am Yeonbow:** gotta say. that's not very SWEET of you 

***Sooberry and 3 others have left the chat***

**7:56 am Yeonbow:** RUDE 

**7:56 am Yeonbow:** mfs got no sense of humor smhh 

  
  


**\------------------------------**

***Sooberry added 4 others to new chat***

***Sooberry renamed chat to Willy Honka***

**2:13 pm BeomBeom:** wILLYHONKA JSKSHSKHSKSJS 

**2:13 pm Ningning:** HONKAJSJSJSKS 

**2:14 pm Yeonbow:** you laugh at THAT? 

**2:14 pm Yeonbow:** heart 💔 been 💔 broken 💔 so many 💔💔 times 💔

**2:15 pm Sooberry:** kindly eat a 💫sock 💫

**2:15 pm Sooberry:** now as I was trying to say this morning 

**2:15 pm Sooberry:** Taehyun is getting pregnant on music bank!!! 

**2:15 pm Honeybee:** IM WHATSHSKHNO 

**2:15 pm BeomBeom:** HES WHAT 

**2:15 pm Ningning:** RUN TAEHYUN RUN AWAY 

**2:15 pm Yeonbow:** Explain yourself, Soobin. Now. 

**2:15 Ningning:** he used proper punctuation oh shit 

**2:16 pm Sooberry:** if yall had just let me EXPLAIN before freaking out. 

**2:16 pm Sooberry:** I meant **PROMOTED

**2:16 pm Sooberry:** Taehyun will be getting promoted on Music bank. Y'know because of his cover that exploded worldwide 

  
  


**2:17 pm Ningning:** oh what a relief! Congrats Tyunnie :D 

**2:17 pm BeomBeom:** thank god, congrats Tyun!!

**2:18 pm Yeonbow:** I'm so glad I don't have to burn down all of music bank anymore, I'll out back my flamethrower 🥺💖 

**2:18 pm Sooberry:** btch??? You tryna leave me without a job??? 

**2:18 pm Yeonbow:** sweetie. You're a kpop idol and MC on the side 

**2:19 pm BeomBeom:** Taehyun's awfully quiet..

**2:20 pm Honeybee:** sorry. I was catching a bus back home hehe

**2:20 pm Ningning:** bus back home??? Weren't you in your room like 5 minutes ago?

**2:21 pm Honeybee:** ahhh I panicked and was on my way to the airport to um.. 

**2:21 pm Yeonbow:** your ass was really about to flee the fking country I cannot 

**2:22 pm Sooberry:** where is my sensible and responsible Taehyun. He's been missing for weeks. Responsible Taehyun please come home

**2:22 pm BeomBeom:** technically he was responsible, he was doing his best to avoid an unwanted pregnancy and was gonna succeed

  
  


**2:23 pm Sooberry:** SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP 

**2:23 pm Sooberry:** I hate that it was my fault this conversation began. I am resigning from adulthood thank you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back uwu!! I missed writing so much :(   
> I know I said yeonbin last chapter but I accidentally deleted that from docs so have this and next chapter will have more yeonbin!!


	22. Accidents happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just TXT being TXT  
> AND a fun Bangtan Cameo at the end :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe hi   
> Hope you enjoy today's chapter  
> I apologize in advance for spelling and grammar errors I did not proof read

***Private chat- yeon,bin***

**1:40 pm yeon:** binnie~ 

**1:40 pm yeon:** ice skating rink later? 

  
  


**1:40 pm bin:** is this an excuse to record me falling on my ass 6272637262 times 

**1:41 pm yeon:** your faith in me is astounding 

**1:41 pm bin:** so it is 

  
  


**1:41 pm yeon:** no :( it's an excuse to hold your hand :( 

  
  


**1:42 pm bin:** oh 

**1:42 pm bin:** what time are we leaving 🤧

**\--------------**

***Willy Honka***

**3:56 pm Ningning:** I have 3 problems 

**3:56 pm Ningning:** one- someone finished Soobins coca cola 

**3:56 pm Ningning:** two- i dont know how to delete security footage 

**3:56 pm Ningning:** three- papa bang is definitely not getting the deposit back from our dorms 

  
  


**3:57 pm Honeybee:** I have so many questions 

**3:57 pm Honeybee:** and u will answer them all honestly or I will tell Soobin u finished his coke 

**3:57 pm Ningning:** you cant do that! That's blackmail! >:(

**3:58 pm BeomBeom:** your fault for sending the texts to the gc 

**3:57 pm Honeybee:** first of all. Why do u need to delete security footage 

**3:58 pm BeomBeom:** yeah I'm curious about that too.

**3:58 pm Beombeom:** And on a side note has anyone noticed the bigass hole on the wall next to the bathroom 

**3:59 pm Ningning:** papa bang installed cameras on our hallways and um … about that hole 

**3:59 pm Honeybee:** you did that?

**3:59 pm Ningning:** I was trying to hide the empty coke bottle! 

**3:59 pm BeomBeom:** inside a wall? In front of the cameras? 

**4:00 pm Ningning:** stop ganging up on me! I was nervous :( 

**4:00 pm Honeybee:** instead of confessing or buying Soobin another bottle you destroyed a wall

Yeah that makes perfect sense. Such logic 

**4:01 pm Ningning:** Are you gonna help me or not 

**4:01 pm BeomBeom:** I'll go buy drywall mix 

**4:01 pm Ningning:** thank u hyung :(

**4:01 pm Honeybee:** relax ning. I brought the footage down and downloaded it to my phone and erased it from the camera 

**4:02 pm Ningning:** why. Um. Why did u save it to your phone 

**4:02 pm Honeybee:** :)

**\-------------------**

***Private chat- yeon,bin***

**4:18 pm yeon:** we are never going ice skating again.

**4:18 pm bin:** i said i was sorry :(

**4:18 pm yeon:** sorry is not going to bring me home from the emergency room any faster 

**4:19 pm bin:** i told you I would fall, it's not my fault u decided to catch me 

**4:20 pm yeon:** but did you have to step on my leg with you razor sharp skates 

**4:20 pm bin:** i didnt see your leg!

**4:20 pm yeon:** you couldn't see my leg? My leg that had black pants very opposite from the white floor-? 

**4:21 pm bin:** …. so what did the doctor say 

**4:22 pm yeon:** 37 stitches :) 

**4:22 pm bin:** im sorry baby :(, and if I cook for you the entire time you spend recovering? 

**4:22 pm yeon:** are you trying to finish killing me off 

**4:23 pm bin:** *** and if I order takeout for you the entire time you spend recovering 

**4:23 pm yeon:** and cuddles. 

**4:24 pm bin:** yes and cuddles <33

**4:24 pm yeon:** okay I forgive you. You can come in the E.R room now <333

  
  


**\----------------**

***Willy Honka***

**6:34 pm Sooberry:** boys. We're on our way home.

**6:34 pm Sooberry:** kai, did u forget that I could scroll up.

**6:35 pm Ningning:** in my defense, I love you 

**6:35 pm Honeybee:** he's not gonna fall for that Kai 

**6:35 pm Sooberry:** you- you love me? 

**6:35 pm Sooberry:** my sweet baby boy :( all is forgiven 💕💕💕

**6:36 pm BeomBeom:** wow. When will Yeonjun ever. 

**6:36 pm Yeonbow:** Yeonjun will never because you're a fking gremlin :) 

**6:36 pm Honeybee:** **MY gremlin :) 

  
  


**\----------------**

***Bangtan and babies***

**8:40 pm Namjoon:** ahh.. Boys? Why did I get a call from Bang PD asking if I went over to your guys' dorm? And broke a wall, specifically? 

**8:40 pm Seokjinnie:** really, namjoon? It wasnt enough to break MY mirror! That you had to go and terrorize the kids dorms. 

**8:40 pm Namjoon:** can we please not talk about that here. I already said it was an accident.

**8:40 pm Soobinnie:** oh I apologize! Someone had an accident over here and we tried to fix it, we hoped papa bang wouldn't notice :(

**8:40 pm Jungkookie:** see! They call Bang pd, papa bang too, why cant I :(

**8:40 pm yoongles:** because kookie. We already established that I raised you and am therefore your dad <3 

**8:40 pm Taehyungie:** ive prepared an 800 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you are entirely wrong and why  I raised Jungkook.

  
  


**8:41 pm Namjoon:** AHEM. anyway. I see, and completely understand boys. Accidents are ACCIDENTS afterall :) 

**8:41 pm Seokjinnie:** Are. Are you seriously throwing shade at me right now? 

**8:41 pm Hobi:** well guess we know who's taking the couch tonight ..

**8:41 pm Jiminie:** and that's where I get my attitude from so next time u have beef with me blame Seojkin hyung 

**8:41 pm yoongles:** dont use him as an excuse to be a little shit  _ jiminie _

**8:42 pm Jiminie:** italicized text, really?oh OH I'm going to kick your ass. Go on. Come out of that studio right now.

**8:42 pm yoongles:** why dont u just come in. Doors unlocked 

**8:42 pm Hueningkai:** im going to cry in two seconds if you guys keep this up.

**8:42 pm Junkookie:** all of a sudden everyone's problems are fixed and we are ALL on our way to your dorms with comfort food and movies <3 

**8:43 pm Jungkookie:** there are no objections, right hyungs? 😃🗡🗡

**8:43 pm Soobinie:** oh! If that's the case we'll go and set up our living room then :D 

**8:43 pm Namjoon:** yes, thank you Soobin, we are all coming  **😅**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love bangtan and I know they all love each other this is PURELY FICTIONAL   
> also omg omg the concept photos for TXT are insane!!!

**Author's Note:**

> please tell me your thoughts on this  
> kudos and feedback is much appreciated <33


End file.
